Ranger! My friend and I were walking through your 'fine park' when a rude guy ran up to us! He held a gun to my friend's neck and told her if we screamed, he would shoot! He took her into the woods!!! I-I-I found her! There's so much blood!! I can't tell what happened, she's just covered.... Covered... In blood....
RANGER, OMFG HE FUCKING STOLE THE SAUCE FROM OUR STOLEN PICNIC BASKET!! *dramatized and exaggerated expression*
I forgot the sauce for my Cheese platter, I had to Ranger, was hiding in the bushes watching little kids play in the park, also he was masturbating. I didn't want to look at him anymore but later when I check to see what he was doing my child was gone and he was gone to, overthrew on the road is a white van and its moving around quite alot, help!!