Please be cruel on this. Just not so bad. Don't say bump or update. I mean, you can but I want criticism.
I really like the idea of the story, but just make sure you don't get a too predictable ending. Update soon please❗ (Bump)
When I looked down, I saw Trapster. No surprise there. But what freaked me out was who was with him. I haven't seen him in forever. I was pretty sure he was gone for good. Yet there he was. The one who turned my best friend against me and tried to take over the city. The one the crazy Doc made out of my blood. The one who wants to take over my life. I didn't jump down and help. I just stared at them, frozen in fear. There was no way that I was going down there. I do not want a repeat. But they were causing to much damage. And since this is my fight, I'll get blamed for everything. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I have felt the pain of what that thing is going through. How it longs to have me as a host. That's what it is: a parasite. Jumping from host to host, looking for the right one. I sighed when I knew what the right thing to do was. I jumped down in front if them and prepared to fight. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> Sorry it was short. I'm having a hard time coming up with cool things to add.
"Trapster!" I said. He looked at me and aimed his gun at me. If you don't know who Trapster is, let me enlighten you. His guns shoot out this gunk that sticks to everything. And it smells horribly. "Well, look who decided to crash the party?" he smirked. The parasite smiled showing rows of teeth. I looked at it. "Harry, are you in there?" I asked. "There is no Harry. Only-" "Yeah, yeah. You said that last month. Harry, I know you're in there. Snap out of it," I pleaded with him. I heard a thump next to me. I looked and saw Danny. Well, Iron Fist to the public. "The key to unlocking one's mine is through the soul," he said. I smirked at him. "That's great and all but how's that supposed to help here?" I replied. "He's part of you." <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> Who or what is this parasite. Who is the main character? Find out in the next update!
I'm curious as to how the window exploded inward, what the robber did to make such an explosion. Kinda wished the girl tired kicking the robbers butt. It reminds me of Spiderman; window explosion, cafe, red-haired chick, and the newspaper stuff. I found the beam coming out of no where slightly predictable. I am liking it though. Your villian(s) are original. Names of them...possibly could be better. Update. Bump.
Thanks, that's what I was thinking when I wrote it. But you'll see that this story is of my own imagination but not original.
I closed my eyes and shook my head. Something didn't seem right. For one, why would they be working together? And two, the whole team should be here. When I opened my eyes, I let out a scream. I was staring at the ceiling of my bedroom. I stood up and ran my hands over my face. It was all a dream. I strange psychotic dream. I stood up and paced around. I was sweating badly and breathing hard. I jumped when I heard a knock on the door. "Are you alright?" I sighed and sat back down. "I'm fine," I replied. I heard footsteps retreat back down the hall. I lay down on my back and stared at the ceiling. The dream felt real, yet at the same time not.