Im sure it will be great. Just listen to music, and look at things that inspirw you. Im sure youll come up with something ^.^
Okey so he's an long over do update! Hope you guys enjoy! ? After we all showered and dressed in our pj's we sat in bed watching as Amelia flicked through the channels. "Hmmmm, what to watch what to watch!" She said tilting her head at the tv I got up and grabbed my journal outta my bag and sat by the view. "Why do you get to chose what we watch?" Eli said raising an eyebrow "Cause I said so." She replied stopping on despicable me, I listened as they argued half the movie. After awhile the was off and it was late, almost 1 a.m I think. Yawning I got up and laid down as I sat my journal down on the coffee table. ********* I knew morning had came I felt something that was shinning on my eye. I slowly but surely got out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom. As I stumbled to the bathroom I could hear Amelia on the phone with Alex I'm guessing and Eli snoring. After I brushed my teeth and washed my face I walked out the bathroom. "Eli! Come on wake up! Up up! We have a big day ahead of us so get up! You better be up bout time I'm finished getting dressed or else!" I yelled dragging my bag into the bathroom shutting the door behind me. I got dressed in tan skinny jeans and an black shirt that's half in the front and long in the back with "live, laugh, love" on it in different colors and my new black sandals. I put my curly red hair up in a ponytail and let a little down on the sides. I tried to give him a few minutes to try and get up, then I walked out with a cup of cold water. "Eli I told you to get up!" I yelled walked over to him and dumping the water on his face "Up!" he then jumped up wiping his face off gasping for air like I was drowning him I laughed walking away "you know you should really be a actor, so dramatic!" he groaned entering the bathroom, I walked out our room in search of Amelia "Meya? Meya.....where'd you go?" I said closing the door behind me "Yea, we are....." I heard her saying lowly, I couldn't her the rest. I looked down the hall and saw her at the vending machine that was in an little area inbetween two rooms. "Hey! Meya!" I said kinda loud walking towards her. "Ye- oh hold on Alex it's my sister ill see you guys infront of the hotel say at.....12:30 ish?" She asked waving me over with her water bottle As I got closer I could hear him faintly saying ok before she hung up. "Tell me you got Eli up cause Alex and Camron are on their way at 12:30 and its 11:50 now." I nodded walking beside her as she left the vending machine sipping her water "Yep he's up. But you know Eli he takes years to get dressed so it might be awhile." I said shaking my head "Ugh, I know. Well wanna go chill in the lobby till then?" She asked as we headed towards the elevators I checked my pocket for my phone. It was there so I nodded as she smiled and pressed the down button on the wall. "Great" she said as we entered the elevator and rode it down. When we got to the lobby we sat down on the black expensive couches in the center of the lobby. "Hello Miss......I didn't catch your name yesterday." A tall like guy wearing a all red uniform said to me as he approached us.
Great with paragraph spacing. Check grammar. In the last sentence, "an all" instead of "a all". You made so much progress since your first update . I think the guy in the uniform is the guy that have them their luggage .
"Oh, um.....who are you?" I-I mean not to be rude......I-I just don't think I got your name." I said stuttering as usual "My apologies, I'm Chase, Chase Matthews. I brought you up your luggage yesterday. Last name...Thomas, correct?" He said grinning looking down at me with his hands behind his back "Y-yea, um I'm Dawn, Dawn Thomas. T-thank you again for that C-Chase. Uh....um this is my sister Amelia T-Thomas." I said looking over at her as she was texting "Oh, Hey." She said not looking from her phone "Hello Miss.Amelia pleasure to meet you. Oh there's no need to thank me sweetheart it's my job. I jus-" the lady at the front desk called for him "Chase! Chase! Come here I need you!" She yelled her high pitched voice ringing in my ears "Yea um...ok one second" he sai looking back at her "well, duty calls Miss.Dawn. If you ever need help just yell for me and I will come." Smiling he left before I could respond Amelia nudged me "hey hey where's Eli it's 12:27 and Alex said they should be here in two minuets or so." She said looking at me before checking her phone once again "I.....uh...um I'll call hi-" before I could finish I heard Eli behind us "Geez Meya, I'm right here there's nothing wrong wit/" she cut him off as she stranded up texting not making eye contact with anyone but her phone "Yeah as much as I would love to listen to what you have to say, Alex and Camron are outside waiting so lets go......like now!" She said snapping walking out the doors as they were opened. I got up walking beside Eli as he groaned "Never can do or say anything, and I'm the oldest!" How is she bossing me around? Me!!!?" He said running his hands thru his black curly hair. I shrugged as we approached the doors. ********** We walked out the doors and I saw a dark blue Cadillac with Alex in the driver seat and Camron in the passenger side, Amelia was already in the back talking to Alex. "Here goes embarrassment" I mumbled to myself looking over at Camron noticing he was already looking at me smiling his once hazel eyes that are green I think looked me from head to toe finally meeting my gaze. I blushed standing by the door waiting as Eli climbed in the back room. I got in and closed the door. "Hey Dawn, Eli." He said as I put my seat belt on "H-hey Camron, Alex." I said fixing the seat belt so it wasn't choking me "Sup." Eli said lowly "Sup man, Hey Dawn. Everyone ready?" He said putting the car into drive We all said yea as he pulled off "Alright then, I just need to go back to our house to get our sister she wants to come. That fine you guys?" He asked looking back at us the back on the road Eli and I nodded "yea Alex it's fine we'd love to meet her." Amelia said looking at me smiling. He nodded turning some music on to clear the silence. ********* 10 or 20 minutes later we pulled in their driveway, I examined the house it was a big white house with black shudders, it was a modest house, with no entry pillars and no circular driveway like the others in the neighborhood. The house had a red front door. Walking out the red door was their sister, she had on an pink cardigan underneath it was a plain white shirt, shorts that are mid-thigh Hugh and a pair of pink and white converses on. She had her brown hair down. "I told you ill be ready on time, I'm not you Alex." She said as she walked up to the door on my side. I slid over towards the middle as she opened the door and glanced back at Eli who was staring at her in awe. She smiled sitting next to me and closing the door. "Nice to meet you all I'm Honey." She said putting her seat belt on After a few minutes of everyone introducing each other to Honey Alex drive off beginning our tour of London. He took us to see the British museum, National Galley, London eye, and the Tower of London. It was all lovely, I loved it all. We sat outside of an restaurant "Julie's Restaurant" was the name, Eli and them sat at one table but it was full leaving me and Camron to sit at one near it. "So how'd you like the tour sugar?" He said sitting across from me smiling I looked at him noticing his green eyes look into mine, I froze trying to swallow the lump in my throat. "I-I loved it." I said finally swallowing it down Before he could speak a medium height woman said wearing a white waist apron and holding an note pad and pencil "can I start you guys off with a drink?" "Yes please, I would like an lemonade. And for her.." He looked at me waiting an answer "Um...ill have an ice tea please and thank you." I said looking at her as she wrote it down "Okey ill be right back with your drinks and to take your order." She walked off to Eli's table "So, what was your favorite part love?" He said leaning towards me his elbows on the table resting his head in his hand. I felt my phone vibrate and I looked down to read it. It was from Meya It said: Just keep calm n focus ur mind on not stutterin n u won't I looked up and back at her, she smiled winking at me. I took a deep breath and focused in not stuttering, l looked back at Camron and smiled a bit " my favorite part was the National Gallery." I replied to his question not stuttering but still nervous talking to him. He grinned "you like art I'm guessing." I nodded as the waiter returned sitting our drinks Infront of us I put my straw in taking a sip, it was the best tea I've ever had. "You two ready to order?" She asked pulling her note pad out of her apron pocket. "Yes ma'am, ill be having whatever he is." I looked at him attempting a smile trying to hide the fact I have no idea what to try first When he looked me in the eyes and gave that sexy breathtaking grin, I could hear and feel my heart pounding against my chest, everything around me suddenly tuned out and all I could hear was his deep charming voice and my heart beat. Looking into his green eyes I got even more lost and felt my heart skip a beat when his gaze met mine. Looking down at his perfect soft looking lips as they moved while he talked. I think he was talking to me? I felt his hand rest on top of mine and suddenly snapped outta the spell he had me in. "So do you wanna? Dawn?" He said softly brushing his thumb over the back of my hand looking at me. "Uh....um wanna do what?" I said bitting my lower lip nervously He chuckled shaking his head slightly "Wanna go on a date with me, say tomorrow at 8?" He said looking at with with hope in his eyes "Sure, I'd love to." I said smiling at him as the lady returned with our food. After I ate I gave him my numbered and we were on our way back to the hotel.
It's not bad overall, I just had a few things to say. There are some spelling/grammar mistakes, so you should proofread, and maybe add a bit more detail and description because the story seems a little rushed. Make the readers feel what the main character is feeling. Also, this kinda seems like a sort of clichéd romance story, with everyone happy and finding their perfect match. >.> Maybe you should add a twist of sorts to keep the writing interesting. ^.^
I am Angel just gotta work our how first.....yea I know I was typing fast was in a hurry so that's why and I will work on it, thanks ^.^