ᏰᏞᏫᎾᎠᏞᏌᏕᎢ

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by tash777, May 7, 2012.

  1. I luv the story I was wondering if any of y'all
    Could check out mine, Forms of love. I just want
    a lot of opinion on how I'm doing with my writing
     
  2. Don't. Advertise. On. My. Thread.

    The next person to do so will be personally farmed by me. 
     
  3. I'm going to post the next update in two parts.
     
  4. Here's the first part! :)

    "All of the things I told you about myself before are a lie. My family live somewhere far away from here. Across the sea. I was taken from them when I was little, around five. I was normal then. I remember being taken away by some people. I remember being in some sort of aircraft, but not much else.

    I remember waking up in a cold metal cage. I heard noises beside me, coming from another cage. Crying. I couldn't see into that cage or the one on my other side. But I could see outside. There wasn't much of a view though. Just cages on the other side of the wall. They were full of animals.

    I tapped on the sheet of metal that separated me from the crying. It stopped. A few seconds later someone tapped back. I had my first conversation with her. We were both so young, so afraid. I think she was older than me though.

    "Are you ok? I heard you crying."

    "I'm so scared... Do you know why are we here?"

    "I don't know. I miss my mummy."

    "Me too. My name is niamh. What's yours?"

    "Hannah. Have you been here long?"

    "Yes. I've been here for a very long time. I think more than 2 years. So has Owen."

    "Owen?"

    "He is in the cage next to me. He was here when I came. I think he is a teeny bit older than me."

    "Oh. Is it nice here Niamh?"

    "No. It's scary. The people take you out of the cage and do things to you."

    "What kind of things?"

    "They cut me and stick sharp needles in my arm. It hurts alot. I feel funny afterwards too. They also let a big bird hurt me..."

    "That doesn't sound very nice."

    "No it doesn't. I think I hear footsteps. Shh! If they hear you talking they will hit you."

    "Ok..."

    Someone walked in. They were wearing black boots and black trousers. That was all I could see. They opened my cage and picked me up. It was a man. He looked quite young, around 24. He was wearing a black shirt with a white lab coat.

    He took me into another room and set me on a metal table. I looked around. The room was full of metal instruments. Sharp metal instruments. And in the corner, in a cage, was a snake.

    "Hello there little test subject. You're our third project! Our last part of this experiment. Hold still, this won't hurt a bit."

    His voice was soft, but not kind. More menacing. Full of distaste, not comfort. He picked up a syringe and stuck it into my arm. I wailed in pain. He gave me a sharp smack on the head.

    "shut up."

    I shut my mouth, but I couldn't stop the tears from streaming down my face. He finished taking a blood sample and put it somewhere. Then he walked over to the cage containing the snake and opened it.

    "don't worry. You will barely feel it."

    The snake slowly slithered across the table. I watched it as it slowly came towards me. It watched me back, with beady yellow eyes.

    It struck without warning. Its fangs went deep into my leg. I screamed in pain and fear. The man just stood there, watching. The snake stayed there for what seemed like ages, pumping venom into my bloodstream.

    Eventually, the snake detached itself from my leg and slithered back into its cage. I felt woozy and disorientated. The man injected three things into my arm, one after the other. I had no idea what they did. I guess they were to stop me from being killed by the venom.

    The man carried me back to the cage and shoved me back in. There, dinner was waiting for me. A cup of water and a hunk of raw meat. I sipped the water, trying to ignore the grumbling in my stomach and the stench of the meat.

    Eventually, I gave into my hunger. I picked off a tiny piece of the meat and placed it in my mouth. Surprisingly, I enjoyed the bloody taste. I ate the rest of the meat. Strangely, I didn't suffer any ill effects from it.

    For a few years, this carried on. One meal a day, raw meat and a cup of water. Around once a week being taken out of my cage and being bitten by the snake. Being injected with strange liquids that took the effects of the venom away.

    I began to notice changes. My skin was becoming scaly and green. It scared me at first, but Niamh and Owen calmed me down. Talking to them stopped me from going insane. I became close friends with Niamh. I became friends with Owen too, but I prefered talking to Niamh. I found Owen just a little too optimistic.

    One day, the snake changed. Instead of yellow eyes, they were red. I dismissed this. Until I heard them talking.

    "Are you sure we should have changed it to a mutant snake?"

    "It's just an experiment. Besides, we're just doing it with project 3. Who cares if it doesn't work? If she dies we still have the other two projects. If it does work, we will do it for the others too."

    They were letting a mutant snake bite me. The injections stopped it from killing me.

    After they changed the snake, I noticed other things happening to me. I grew fangs. Long and sharp. Once, after the snake and injections, the man showed me a mirror. I looked at my reflection. My eyes were red.

    They had turned me into a mutant. The strange thing was I still had feelings. I could still control my emotions. They had given me the powers of a mutant snake. No, they had given me more than that. I was several times stronger than a snake mutant. Several times stronger than a human. A human mutant with the qualities of a snake and the ability to control her actions.

    We were projects. Experiments. The result was brilliant. The problem with ordinary mutants is that they cannot tell the difference between friend and foe. They had been created purely to kill.

    They started feeding me live prey instead of hunks of raw meat. I killed the animal swiftly using my new abilities. This was the same with Hannah and Owen too. It was strange. I knew them so well, yet I didn't even know what they looked like.

    One day, a thought came to me.

    "Niamh, where are we exactly?"

    "I'm not sure. But I heard someone say we are in a place called lab 13."

    "lab 13... That doesn't sound like the Amazon..."

    "You come from the Amazon? I come from Hawaii."

    "Do they let snakes bite you too?"

    "I don't get bitten by snakes. But they let this big bird with sharp claws attack me. I think it's called an eagle. They let mynah birds try and eat me too. I recognize them from home."

    "I recognize the snake from home too..."

    I had been in that awful place for seven years when I heard people talking. They seemed to be annoyed. It was dark, I think they thought we were asleep.

    Very lightly, I tapped on the metal sheet that separated me and Niamh. She tapped back almost immediately. Good. She was awake too.

    "Projects 1,2 and 3 are getting nowhere. I think we should abandon them."

    "But project 3 isn't complete yet. Each project needs at least 10 years of treatment for the full effect."

    "We already have enough data from projects 1 and 2. They are too conscious of their own actions. They have the power to kill very effectively but they won't use it. Not in the way we need them to."

    "So you want to just shut this experiment down?"

    "Yes. We are making much more progress with other experiments. Project 70 in particular."

    "Be quiet. You know we aren't supposed to talk about Project 70."

    "I know, I know. We should shut this experiment down and give more time to the other projects."

    "Fine. But give it a year or two first."

    "No. We should shut it down as soon as possible."

    "You know that isn't possible."

    "Fine. I will give it a few months. A year at the most."

    Shut the experiment down... They were going to kill us."
     
  5. Woah that's long 
     
  6. It's fine. That was amazing!!! Bump!!!
     
  7.  Bump! this is awesome!! 
     
  8. She's not done explaining. There's still a little bit left 
     
  9. Bump!!!! Update plz!!!!
     
  10. Bump!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  11. A/N: I'm going back to school now, so the updates will most likely become few and far between.

    Also, I know it says Lucas and Cassy are part elf, but there are no mystical creatures in my story. The "elves" were created when a certain chemical caused an explosion in lab 8, which was in the valley that Lucas and Cassandra came from. The explosion affected the people who lived there, stragely causing them to have elf-like qualities and appendages. (Pointed ears, good sense of direction, etc)
    Lucas' and Cassy's mother was affected by it, and passed it on to her children.

    Extra: similar occurences had happened around the country, but with results less drastic, maybe making the victims unusually short or making their necks grow extremely long for some reason 
     
  12. Only if you update 