ᏰᏞᏫᎾᎠᏞᏌᏕᎢ

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by tash777, May 7, 2012.

  1. Wow it is so sad
     
  2. Flubberj by sad do you mean the mood of the story is sad or that the story is awful?
     
  3. The mood is a bit sad like the mothers mourning for their lost children and the narrater doesn't care seems sad to me but it's still an amazing story
     
  4. Thanks :) the narrater doesn't care because she has lost all of her family and she is lonely but she sees no point in being sad. She prefers to block it all out.
     
  5. I slipped through the crowds unnoticed. People thought I was just a worthless urchin, or a wandering beggar. I looked around, hoping to find some wealthy men stupid enough to roam the streets to show everyone how well-off they were. It didn't take long. I soon sighted a rich looking man strutting around like a peacock, showing off to the peasants. I casually walked towards him, my hand reaching into his pocket and taking his wallet as I strolled past. Putting it into my bag, I searched for another victim. I carried on with this for several hours, snatching wallets and cutting open purses while nobody was watching. I carried on for many hours, stopping only for lunch.

    It was just starting to get dark. I cut open one more purse, planning to go home and rest after this one. I had just finished taking the money when someone shouted
    "THIEF!! STOP HER!" and to my dismay, that person was pointing at me. People turned and looked at me.
    "Arrest her!" I heard someone say. I turned around and ran for it. People chased after me, shouting and screaming. I knew I would be hung if they caught me. The thought of the gallows kept me running. I turned down a road and kept running, twisting and turning through a labyrinth of alleys. It was getting darker. It wouldn't be long until the bloodlust came out of hiding. The angry voices faded and I slowed to a halt. Gasping for air, I realized I was hopelessly lost. I swore under my breath. I wandered around, trying to find a place I recognized. The alleys all looked the same. It got later and later, darker and darker. Suddenly, I heard banging noises and shouting. The voice I heard was vaguely familiar.I ran towards the sound, hoping to find a way out of this maze of backstreets. I rounded a corner and saw a three bloodlusts that had cornered someone. as I got closer, I recognized who that person was. It was Arthur.
     
  6. Ahh bump! He can't die 
     
  7. It's really good, tense, I don't really have any flaws. 

    *dies*
     
  8. HE CAN'T DON'T LET HIM DIE
     
  9. Bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump
     
  10. awesome story!! BUMP!!!
     
  11. Hrmm. Methinks I should update...
     
  12. Desperately hoping they hadn't harmed him, I grabbed my knife and stabbed one of the creatures. It made a loud noise of pain and turned around, about to attack me. In one fluid motion, I slid my knife across it's throat. It fell to the ground in a pool of blood. I pulled my crossbow out and shot one in the head, causing bits of brain to spatter onto the wall. I threw my knife to Arthur, and he stabbed the last one in the chest. I looked up to see him pale-faced and shaking. I held out my arms, and he collapsed into them, exhausted from what had just happened. I hugged him and he stood back up having recovered from the shocking and terrifying experience.
    "Are you ok?"I asked him, worrying he was hurt.
    "I think so. Thanks so much for saving me. If you came a second later I would have been dead, or even worse. How on earth did you find me?"
    "It was just luck really. I was running from an angry mob when I got lost in these alleyways. I heard you shouting so I followed the noise and ended up here. How come you didn't fight back?"
    "I had nothing to fight with. They caught me off guard. I was on my way home when I dropped my ring. I spent ages looking for it and didn't realize how dark it had gotten. Why were you being chased by an angry mob?"
    "Your ring? And I will tell you later."
    "It was a present my mother gave me when I was 7. A few weeks later she was killed. It's all I have left of her. When I was 13 my dad left without a trace. I was an only child, so from then on I lived alone."
    We stood there for a few moments, reminiscing. Then I saw something reflecting the moonlight.
    "Is this your ring?" I inquired, picking up a beautiful band of entwined gold and silver studded with diamonds. I gave it to him to look at.
    "Yes that's it. How did you find it so quickly?"
    "I don't know. I just... Looked. Maybe you were searching in the wrong area."
    "Yeah. I was looking over there, nowhere near here."
    "So where do you live?" I asked, hoping I didn't sound stalkerish or rude.
    "Well... I don't really live anywhere. I mostly live on the streets but sometimes I'm lucky enough to get a few nights shelter. It can be hard sometimes, but I just about manage."
    wow. How could he have survived on the streets for so long?
    "You could come and live with me..." I said absentmindedly. After all, I had a spare room and living by myself is pretty lonely.
    "Really? With you? Are you sure?"
    well, at least he seemed happy at the idea of a roof over his head.
    "Well if you want to. I guess it's better then living in alleys."
    "Definitely. When can I move in?"
    "Well whenever you want to."
    "How about tonight?"
    "Ok then. What about your stuff?"
    "Oh I will go and get it. Stay here. I will be back in a second."
    Arthur ran off down another alleyway. He came back a couple of minutes later, holding his few belongings.
    "Well then, let's get going."
     
  13. 5 bumps and I shall update again 