FreeKEY GIVEAway

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Julzz, May 11, 2015.

  1.  The husband told the wife gypsy style:
    Sweet heart, I wanted to take you to the moon, but it's full... 
     
  2. Asks husband wife:
    - Baby that I'm not the man, what would you want me to be?
    - Calendar.
    - Why?
    - That I can change you every year.
     
  3. Sitting banana and a vibrator on the shelf, and banana says to vibrator:
    -What are you shaking they will not eat you.
     
  4. Lolol. This Needs to Win.
     
  5. Oh and My Joke.
    There's a Bear and a Rabbit In The Forest Both Going Poop.
    The Bear Looks Over at The Rabbit
    "Excuse Me Sir, Do You Have Problems With Poop Sticking to Your Fur?"
    The Rabbit Replies "No, Why?"
    Then The Bear Grabs The Rabbit and Wipes His Butt With Him 
    (Disclaimer: The Vulgarity Makes It More Comical, But It's Against ToU to Swear ?
     
  6. What do you give an injured lemon?
    Lemon-aid

    How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking?
    Apply some lubricant and keep going.
     
  7. Why did the husband need to be fixed ? Because he says he's always broke.
     
  8. Hello princess, do you have pet insurance? Cause I'm about to destroy that kitty.
     
  9. What has 2 fingers and just found out they have 8 more? 
    Me
     
  10. A family walks into a hotel and the father goes to the front desk and says "I hope the p0rrn is disabled." The guy at the desk replies. "It's just regular p0rrn you sick fck."
     
  11. Did you know that Tesco and Marks and Spencer's shared the same sausages, it's just different packaging?

    Does that mean that Marks and Spencer's also supply horse?
     
  12. The doctor to the patient: ‘You are very sick’
    The patient to the doctor: 'Can I get a second opinion?’
    The doctor again: 'Yes, you are very ugly too…’
     
  13. Yall should know my best friend D ?

    Who?

    Answer: DEEZ NUTS GOT EMM
     
  14. White boy: "ur gay"
    *me shouting from the stands*
    NICE ONE MAN U GOT HIM
    THAT WAS EVEN BETTER THAN THE 1ST MILLION TIMES IT WAS USED 
    FRE$H
     
  15.  
  16. During a job interview, the interviewer asks, so how long were you employed at your last job?

    Candidate: 'I'd say my biggest weakness is my listening skills.'
     
  17. Hats off to you for originality.?
     
  18. Best joke huh?


    My love life
     
  19. When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in people's eyes XD
     
  20. The police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off. ?