The Lucky Ones

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by -_Devestator_-, Oct 22, 2012.

  1.  are you guys delta force????
     
  2. 1st ON PAGE 5 AND WHAT BIZNITCHES!
     
  3. Yes we are may.
     
  4. Omg this is so awesome Elmo! :eek:
     
  5. oh and, BUMP 
     
  6. delta force!!!!!!!!!!
     
  7. -SCREAMS- I LOVE YOU JAKEY! DON'T DIE!
     
  8. Ahhh update zachy bear!!!! I like it :D
     
  9. Update!!! >_> or i will kill u in cc!!!
     
  10. Here you goo!

    They plunge down farther and farther,faster and faster.
    It almost seemed it would not end but at the last thought of that they all pulled their chutes. Once they landed they cleared the perimeter and set up camp.

    Nick:Hey umm I think it's a little too quiet.
    He looks around and then looks at beast.
    Beast:Hey Zach I'm gonna go up that tree
    Zach:alright but remember...silence

    Beast then climbs a tall oak tree and keeps watch.Hours pass and still no signs of the enemy so beast climbs down and then out of no where a crackle is heard.....
    Zach:What was that?
    Nick:eek:h no
    Beast:what what?
    Eric:....guys....

    Everyone turns to see Eric bleeding out on the ground. Nick and beast turn around and hold up their guns yelling to Zach. Zach then looks Eric over.

    Nick:I TOLD YOU! Remember LT.???
    Beast:WHERE IS HE HIT??
    Zach:I DON'T KNOW BEAST CHASE THAT SNIPER! NICK HELP ERIC!! IM GOING TO ASSIST BEAST WITH THE SNIPER IF WE CAN'T FIND HIM WE WILL COME BACK!

    Beast and Zach then run off leaving nick and Eric behind. While walking Zach looks over to beast and stops him.

    Zach: Hear that?
    Beast: Yup

    BANG!!..............


    THANKS GUYS!
     
  11. -.- NOOOO NOT DADDY
     
  12. Bump tho and more detail,
    Space out ur dialogue
    Don't rush into it.
    Proofread.
     
  13. Omg zach  UPDATE Nd BUUUMP
     
  14. Here is the update

    We both looked around and I got out my radio and called nick.As I waited I looked around and noticed that there was a small footprint in the brown mud.

    Nick:Yes sir? Zach: How is he? Nick:good but I still can't find the wound...oh wait! I see it in his leg!
    Zach:Ok can you pull it? Nick:yes

    I walked over to the print and signaled beast to keep watch.As I examined it I knew what the 2nd bang came from....the sniper had been above me and beast this whole time. I jumped and dove at beast and a bullet hit where he was just standing.

    I got up and shot him in the leg. He fell and then beast stabs him wildly without hesitation.

    Beast:Die die!!!!!
    Zach: Come on we have to go to Eric and jake should be arriving with medical supplies.
    Beast:Ok

    He drops the knife and we run back to the camp.When we get there to our surprise jake is already there yet Eric is still on the ground.

    Zach: Jake...can you fix him?
    Jake:I don't know man it's pretty deep and it didn't come out.
    Beast: Oh no
    Nick:Shhh!

    Silence......

    Eric faintly:Take....it....out....
    Jake:I will
    Nick:I'm so sorry
    Zach: So jake....can you do it?
    Jake: Umm can I talk to you privately?


    DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN!
    Lol thanks again!
     
  15. LOVE IT ZACH!












    Bump
     
  16. NOOOO DADDY NOOOOOO
     
  17. UPDATE HOMMIE SLICE!!!! I LIKE IT!!




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