The Lucky Ones

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by -_Devestator_-, Oct 22, 2012.

  1. No sky .-.!! Omg zach can I be bad >:D?!
     
  2. #1 post on pg 3!!!
     
  3. ZACH U NO ADD ME
     
  4. Here it is

    The alarm goes off and a dark room lights up and Sgt.Spartan stands up and turns it off."It's already time?" he says sleepily and looks over to his wife Yuki.He gets up and looks on his phone and calls his team on a conference call. First,he calls Cpl.Nick,Cpl.Jake,And Pvt.Eric. Then he calls Pvt.Beast.Silence spreads on the line as he says "it's time" Nick: What?? They told us 2 months!! Jake:Yeah! I miss my family man this is not right!! Eric: Guys calm down Beast:Yeah we are called to action our country is waiting. "So who's driving?"


    THANKS GUYS MORE COMING SOON!!
     
  5. Try separating it into paragraphs and use more detail ^.^ it's good tho
     
  6. Wow nice!
     
  7. It seems good, but could you organize it?
    Like-

    Nick:

    Blah blah blah, etc.

    Nick:

    Someone:


    Just some advice 
     
  8. Yah I did but it still bunches it up together idk why
     
  9. Use enter.pr return
     
  10. AMAZING! Update or I will kill you in cc >.>
     
  11. I don't have a lot of time but when I do I will make larger paragraphs with more action I was just trying to introduce the main characters.
     
  12. U have to return twice
     
  13. Alright here it is

    This happens all the time.The same routine,they all walk to their closets,get their uniforms and get ready. Then they kiss their wives and they are off.

    They all arrive at the same time.Its so hard not to remember this place...the airport. They have been there too many times before.

    They load their stuff and say their goodbyes to Yuki,Aly,Emma,Sky,and Lexi. They get on the AC130 and prepare their parachutes.

    Nick:Hey did they say where we are going?
    Beast:Yeah they said afghan.
    Nick: What about Iraq? Aren't we there?
    Eric:Yeah but they want recon,beast that's your part.
    Beast:Yeah yeah.
    Jake:I'm nervous...I mean remember Lt.Spencer??
    Zach:Hey,don't worry we got this.

    The pilot comes on the loudspeaker stopping the conversation.
    Pilot:E.T.A 10 Minutes

    They all stand up and wait.The red light gleams in the dark.Waiting.............Green. They all run and dive out the back of the Aircraft down to almost certain death.


    THERE! You go!
     
  14. Can't wait to read it zach 
     
  15. .-. Woahhh UPDATE