Ah~ A good start and I'm interested to see where the plot will go. Nice work though still a tad touch of repetition though it still has nice detail.
UPDATEYNESS!!!!!!! ~~~~~~~~ "Hey, what's up?" Imari came in with a big smile on her face. "Nothing. How about you?" "Eh, not much. I was just looking in the woods. "What?! You know that we're not allowed there! You could have gotten killed by a Cruncher or something! Crunchers were big, and I mean very big wolves with teeth and claws as long as my arm. No need to explain, their name tells the whole story. Din spoke up. "Mew." "Ugh, not now, Din!" Imari snapped. Din backed away a little. "Besides some harsh words to my little Din, what else were you going to say?" She got all exited to tell me, practically bouncing up and down. "Oh! I wanted to tell you that when I went in the woods, I found a building. A temple perhaps, with scrolls and books and maps....brushes and paints." She raised an eyebrow at me, knowing how much I've always wanted to steal away the professors' paints and use them. I've always been fascinated by how people can create images on paper, just by using paints. By how they get the brush strokes just right, mixing colors together to get the perfect color. "So Ri, do you want to go during our courtyard time tomorrow? She looked so happy, and I know why. Imari and I are very different from the other singers for one major reason. We could read. Our professors touched on it a little when we were small, but were never very thorough. They thought us letters and only letters, probably so we wouldn't be suspicious when we saw their books. So we wouldn't be curious. Boy, were they wrong. Me and Imari were intrigued, so we snuck into the professors' library late at night. We didn't know much about the subject, obviously. So when we first looked, all we saw were random lines, it almost made us dizzy, all those letters together in one place. But, when we squinted hard enough, we saw how all those random letters made words. We knew what the letters were, what sounds they made, but we thought that was it, that was all there was: letters. However, we had not known how the letters clumped together to make words, or how the words clumped together to make sentences. We sounded out the letters, and were amazed when they sounded like words we had heard be spoken or had spoken ourselves, how the words formed sentences that ave us knowledge about things the professors had taught—would never teach— us. It was mind-blowing. Everything has to stop sometime, right? Well, after a long while, one of our professors came into the library. We were so, so scared. Scared that when the professor found us we would get punished, yelled at—maybe even beaten. We hid behind some bookshelves, but I swear my heart was beating so loudly it gave us away. The professor found us, swinging his hand at us, trying to hit us, swearing at us. Now that I think about it, he was probably drunk. We ran away, but not before we stuffed our robes with the books we were reading. We smuggled the books out of the library and into our rooms, running as fast as we could, crying. By the time we had gotten to our room, we were bawling. We just stuffed the books under the bed, hating ourselves for stealing them. We stole the books because we loved the knowledge they gave us, but after how the professor had treated us because of them, we hated them and their knowledge. We never read them again until we were much older, for we understood why the professors didn't want us to read. The information in the books was amazing, but it's dangerous to the professors if we knew it. The books spoke of mysterious buildings in the forest, odd creatures, the people that lived outside the fortress. Since then, we had always wanted to see those for ourselves. I was struck with amazement, happiness, curiosity, the feeling of all those was enough to make me light-headed when I realized that the temple building Imari saw could very well be the one of the buildings in the books. I hadn't answered Imari's question, but the huge grin on my face spoke a thousand words. "I thought so." The grin on her face must have been as big as mine. ~~~~~~~~ Hope you enjoyed! Again, if you want to post pictures of what you think the characters look like, that would be AWESOME! I'll try to update tomorrow, but Imma be really busy so I might not be able to. Anyways, BYYEEEE! ~Marshmallow
Great! There are a few grammar mistakes I picked up on and some repetition, as Mel said, but otherwise lovely. And yes, I think you should post pictures.
Awesome! Good work I like the plot. Especially because it's unique. Also, please make the updates longer. Pleeaassee
UPDATEEEEE!!! ~~~~~~~~ I woke up the next morning to find Din on my face again. I picked her up and stroked her long orange fur. She purred and I was about to fall asleep again—our lessons didn't start for another hour or so—until Imari came to me with a tray of eggs, bacon, and toast with jam, with a tray of her own to match. "Morning!" She said ecstatically. "Morning," I said. "What makes you so happy?" "Oh, come on silly, you know today were going into the woods to visit that building!" She was grinning ear to ear. I didn't say anything but I smiled too, I was definitely decided to go. Even though I'm not even sure it's the building from the books, it sounded really fun and exiting. And who knows, maybe it is one from the books. Imari brushed a red corkscrew from her face and sat down beside me, still holding the food. She gave it to me and I sat it down next to me for later, I wasn't especially hungry. Din looked at Imari's bacon and began to mew hopefully, but she just scrunched her nose and pulled the tray away. "You big meanie!" I said while trying to sound serious, but the truth is it was kind of funny and I was smiling. I didn't want Din to feel left out, so I ripped apart my bacon and put it I. Her food bowl. She ran over right away, wolfing it down all at once. A very happy Din looked up at me and meowed with a half full mouth. Imari and I looked at each other and started cracking up. Din and Imari had never been very fond of each other. When I found Din as a kitten, Imari had tried to sing her to death with a chant, and who could blame her? Din was a miserable thing with matted fur and a belly swollen with worms. It would have been kind to kill her then, since she was suffering. But when I saw Imari trying to sing the helpless little furball to death, I kind of lost it. I was shouting and I slapped my hand over her mouth, pretty hard actually. In fact, I gave her a fat lip for a good while. I probably could have handled the situation a little better, though. I started to care for Din since then. Over time the belly that was full of worms became plump with kitten fat, and the mat that used to be her fur became soft and flowing. Din had always been my buddy, but she and Imari weren't as close. The occasional pat on the head or piece of meat is the closest they will ever come to love. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ At lunch, Imari and I sat at a remote table in a corner at the cafeteria. We discussed what we were going to do to get in the woods and what we were going to do when we got there—if we even did. I was beginning to have doubts, actually. We munched away on the little plates of food we had and started heading into the courtyard early, with a plan in mind. In the courtyard, we sat down under the four tall apple trees for a couple minutes, waiting for the guards that watch the courtyard to look away. That's one thing I didn't mention—there are guards all over the place here. Imari looked at me and nodded, meaning the guards weren't looking. We stood up and began out journey into the woods. ~~~~~~~~ Hope you liked it! Remember to post pictures, cuz I'm too lazy to. ~Marshmallow