Noo i didnt say you weren't " white" i just said the way you wrote was ghetto. And what you cant be ghetto if youre white? But why do u get mad. Geez; appreciate im helping. And i did say i liked the story
Constructive critism is useful. What ale meant was that you are commenting on your sentences and not using enough puncuation. And that you don't need to overdo the details. Like add the (). Just leave them and the story will be perfect. I'm translating, don't hate on me. You can take the advice or leave it. Now I think this story is awesome but maybe take ale's advice. Then it would be perfect.
I won my school's writing fair 3 years in a row. And the first year was in KINDERGARTEN. gtfo my thread.
I can see clearlyyyyy now, the rain has gone!! Why Can't We Be Friends? This one is for the boys with the boomin system, top down AC wit the coolin system, when he come up in the club he be blazin up, got stacks o deck like he savin up! oh yes I did, yes i did! Somebody please tell him who the F I is! I am Micky Marie, I Mack them dudes up, back coupes up and chuck the deuce up! EVERYONE BE NICE
CheekyChloe just leave her be. She obviously doesnt appreciate advices . That's why she'll never suceed. Peace out!
NEVER SUCCEED. OH HECK NO! You leave dees thread now. Oh no, I accidentally misspelled a word! Officer, take me away.
I went to my locker after class and decorated it. Then I grabbed some peppermints out of a bag and put them in my bag. Michelle was standing a couple feet away, glaring at her phone. "Hey, are you ok?" "Yeah, my parents are going away for a week and I have no one to stay with." Aww...time to make my move. "Um, you could stay with me. I'm sure my parents wouldn't mind." "Really? Thank you SO much!!!" "No prob! I'll pick up my little brother and come back to get you. Ok?" "Okay!" -That day after school...- "So I'll be back in about 10 minutes." "Kay!! I'll be right here." I drove off and headed towards the elementary school. Sam started towards the front seat, but I stopped him. "Back seat. My friend has to stay with us bcause her parents are going away for the week." "Why does she have to stay with us?" "Sam, she has no one else to stay with." "Finee." I drove back to the high school for Michelle. "Michelle, this is Sam. Sam, this is Michelle." Michelle waved at Sam. I let down the windows and opened the sunroof. Blasted HOT 102.7. Teach Me How to Dougie was on. YAY. "The name is Johnnn, for the noobs who don't know me, I know I'm from the West but I can teach you how to dougieee..." I <3 that song. After I parked in the driveway, Sam ran at lightning speed towards the house. "He is so cute!" "Aw, thanks." "Hey, do you know who's house that is?" Michelle said in a weirdish tone. "Who's?" "USHER'S." Omg. (Idrk where usher lives..) "No. Way." "Way way."