Separate names with a comma.
Belle: -shoots crossbow- THAT'S for Kira. THAT'S for my dad. THAT'S for my mom. THAT'S for life. -glares-
Better:) Just remember end punctuation for dialogue, and start a new paragraph when someone else is talking. Also capitalization on the beginning...
Shadow: -sees Belle and steps out to kill her- Belle: -teleports somewhere else, just missing the axe-
(Alex said you can make as many characters as you want)
(I blame this on Alex… he told me to Name: Belle Element: Wind Age: 28 Looks: [img] Bio: Kira's kind of evil older sister. Weapon: Sword and...
Shadow: -slips poison into another element user's drink then snatches another person- I hear of a group of elements living together… in a forest....
() Shadow: -takes out dagger, slits someone's neck, and drags them away while no one notices-
Shadow: -watches people… from the shadows- ( See what I did there?)
Toxic, you're an AMAZING author
() Violette: -makes a wall of water that collapses- Sammi: That was really good! You'll get the hang of it soon!
(She has standard evil requirements… plus more!)
(Oh. No clue who that is. Sorry for unintentional stealing.) Sammi: -training Violette- Angela: -walking with Scarlette- Kira: -making arrows-
(Oh wait his name was Midnight. My bad…)
(Really? If I stole that from somewhere, it would be from those Redwall books. I faintly recall a weasel named Shadow…)
(Here's the evilness Name: Shadow Element: Fire, except hers is black and can't be put out with water Gender: Female (Just making that clear)...
(Everyone's making random evil people… I want to too!!I wanna be evil!!)
Scarlette: -puts arm around him- Oh Ben… -sighs-
Scarlette: Ben… we should go. Come on… -gently tugs hand-
Scarlette: Ben, I'm so, so sorry…
1. Use shorter sentences and more periods, because there's a lot of run-on sentences. Also, it builds suspense. 2. If you decide to do a few...