Separate names with a comma.
I think this is a good start, it would be easier to read if it was in story form instead of rp form.
Angela: -sees Jada- Who are you?
Plus, the title is DYING for reality.
PICK ME!!!! -raises hand- I once read a book kinda like this! Well, not really that much like it, just that she goes to a camp with...
Angela: -sees zombies- Well, I guess this isn't zombie free. -slices the heads off all the zombies-
Angela: -goes inside the warehouse- This should be a good place to train. I don't see any zombies… -glances around-
Sorry it's crappy, I just didn't want to keep you waiting any longer. -------------------------------------------- I fell into step next to the...
Oh my gosh I'm so sorry I forgot I'll start writing now!!!
Angela: -trains-
AWESOME!!!!
(I'm back… what did I miss?)
Angela: -draws her sword- (I gtg)
Angela: -gets out of car-
Angela: -drives to Lily- Get in or I'm leaving you behind.
Shadow: -hears Alex and smirks- I know who he is.
Shadow: -trains-
Angela: -starts driving-
Angela: -starts the car- Is everyone in?
Angela: -rolls eyes and gets in the car-
Angela: -turns around and cuts the zombie's head off- Thanks