Separate names with a comma.
Awesome start
Unlike, qinny, I like romance, so I like this so far. I love the detail in this. Very vivid.
Her threads… ohmigosh.
Remember to proofread to correct spelling, grammar, capitalization and punctuation mistakes
Sammi: -sits down a few seats over from her-
Wonderful
*bar-
Sammi: -walks into the bar
Sammi: -creeps out of the alley-
…I can't decide if I love this or completely despise it.
AMAZING UPDATE!!
Sammi: -walks around town-
Sammi: -sharpens her knife in an alley-
Okay, I have time to wall people now. Thanks to all of my readers for sticking with this story
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> Amy's (Mrs. Fontana's) POV "This is nice," Derek commented, staring out at the crystal clear, cerulean waters....
Sammi: -looks over at Emma as she continues feeding her horse-
OHMIGAWD HE KILLED HIS FAMILY Amazing writing. Just wonderful. I love it!!
Sammi: -feeds her horse-
YEESH!!!! I was eating dinner!!!! Okay, here's my criticism: Remember punctuation, a few spots are missing it. And spell out the words, like...
Sammi: -walks her horse to a stable-