Separate names with a comma.
Yay ^.^
This is really good. I just have two comments: the first is that you started out writing in first person, then switched to third, which was really...
※〜※〜※ Soft golden rays of sunlight filter through the dense canopy onto the broken girl below. She's popping a small pill into her mouth. To...
This is great so far. The only thing I would suggest is using paragraphs, because it's kinda hard to read right now.
Damn. There's another reader.
:0
D: All the readers left. YAY IM THE ONLY ONE THAT MEANS I GET THIS STORY ALL TO MYSELF MWAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHGAHAHAHA-
This is really good. A few spelling/grammar mistakes, but otherwise flawless.
NO. NONONONONO. NATHAN WILL PREVAIL.
Bummmmmp.
O)_(O
I'm in love with this storyline. It's original and very interesting. ^.^ Bump.
asdfghjkl; They're gonna ****.
Not sure what's happening yet.
The actual storyline isn't bad, but you should take a few grammar lessons before writing. Not trying to be mean, but… oh my. This is run-on...
Oops. I meant the censored word that starts with r.
Whoa.I liked Cato. Why'd you have to make him go and rape her?
You should update again.
*before punctuation