Separate names with a comma.
Aw :')
I like this. It's a great start and seems really interesting… just be careful with your grammar. ^.^ and btw: are you going to keep updating all...
My constructive criticism: there were some grammatical errors, like runon sentences and whatnot, and you went off-topic a few times. But the story...
You were. ^.^
Haha puns
You're that man 0.o OHHHHHH
I like this. It's original, and the rhythm is nice. I'm looking forward to more. ^.^
Adam is an old man XD
If you want to post something (that's relevant to fan fiction) no one will stop you.
^not the first post
Yes. Pleeeeasee make a sequel
Good.
BUMP.
Bumppppp.
Bump
Bump
Bummmmmp. Pleeeease updateeeeee
I loved this.
I could. I want to start writing again, and I promise I won't slack like last time
Be careful with your spelling mistakes. But keep writing ^.^ you'll improve that way