Separate names with a comma.
Who's Jade? Bump!
D:
Okay. Bump!
You need punctuation after dialogue. If you have "___ said" after it, then make it a comma. You're still getting better, though.
This doesn't belong in fan fiction.
Not bad. The prologue was a little confusing, though. Was that about Fletcher? Also, I think you switched tenses a few times. But otherwise it...
Noooooo? Why do y'all love Dante? He's so mean!
POST THE FOURTH ONE NOW. PLEAAAASEEEE.
FINALLY.?
Ooh. :3 This is an interesting start.
This is in case readers want to read the original parasite story. Click here for book one! :D
Trying something. Random story
※〜※〜※ "What?" Ashlyn begins to shake violently. "I'm not- I don't- you-" He puts a hand out to steady her before explaining in a voice stilted...
Oops. I totally forgot about this until I saw it in my notes today. I actually kinda have to finish it. I'll write a super short update then...
It's alright Katie. YES DANTE CAN BE WITH ANGELA. TEAM DANIEL FTW.
YOU'RE WELCOME. :D I know. I'm awesome.
PRESTON My argument towards his side: Oliver isn't even there anymore. And he's super hawt.?
Better. Remember to have punctuation at the end of every sentence.Poor Danny though.
Great job. Bump!