Separate names with a comma.
Scarlet: "You poor thing!" Snaps fingers "Somebody get me some pumpkin juice!"
-talks to myself while kicking the autumn leaves- I hate this place. I should make a secret group and plan to escape
Ok, you're writing in the present tense. Eg: 'He hugs me' It should be: 'He hugged me'. Also, use more descriptive vocabulary, I suggest maybe a...
Alright
-wanders around the forest with no friends-
Scarlet: Hugs back them lets go and holds your head "Are you alright? What happened?"
Scarlet: "Don't be scared, it's big sissy, Scarlet!" Winks at Sam
will try and keep*
-passes note to Tom- Found foster parents (at last) they live a while away but they said they will and keep me at this shool - KitKat
Scarlet: Goes to hospital wing and puts on a scene! "Oh my gosh Sam! Proffessor what happened?"
-sneaks into history and hands Miss Young a note- Sorry I'm late miss! -sits down next to the nerd who does my homework-
Scarlet: Casualy talks to some other kids Biancha: Sees Sam getting rushed to the hospital wing and worries
Scarlet: Looks offended. Jumps out the window and hides in the Slytherin common room
Scarlet: Rolls eyes "GIMME YOUR BROOM IDIOT!" Sees Proffessors looking for me
Scarlet: Sees Jess out the window and calls to her "Hey first year, can I use your broom I kinda need to hide!"
Scarlet: Bending down with hands on my knees "Don't worry, you'll get over it!" sees Proffesors approching and hides in the forbidden section
Scarlet: Lets go after a few minutes "That's one unforgivable curse mastered!"
Dovile: Stroking her wings (Dovile is pronounced dough-vill-ee-a)
Insert a line break everytime somebody new speaks. E.g: "Hello" He said to me, smiling "Umm..hey" I said back
(Stupid question...is it too late to join?)