Separate names with a comma.
Daisy-May~ I'm still a monster, nearly insane. I can't be around anyone I know, because I'll just end up hurting them as a beast. As a dog, I'm...
(TEH hell happened?) Daisy-Dog: *Head bowed in silence* Nebraska: *Frozen, her fear of death taking in everything*
Daisy-Dog: *Paws click against the floor*
Awesome.
Make sure you spell out the whole word, or it won't really be a story. And don't put spaces in the quotation marks. Ex. "I ate cereal for...
Make sure to use commas and correct punctuation for the story, or it will be hard to read. Also use paragraphs. Otherwise, it's good!
Nebraska~ "Oh hell no. Don't touch me!" I barked, swatting him with my book. He really shouldn't touch me. He's going to have a huge bump on his...
>:( This stays on first page
xD
Emmett: *Rubs her jaw, groaning* Neigh....
Dawn: O.o Lily, calm the hell down. It's always been there.
Emmett: *.-.*
*26. >.> Damn finger.
Name: Dawn Emmetts Age: 24 Attending Personality: Caring, nice, motherly sometimes. Looks: Strawberry blond hair, green eyes. About 5'9
Dawn: Gee, you don't say? You're sweating to death.
Nebraska: *Smirks, kissing him softly*
Oh yeah, the thunderstone..totally forgot about that.
I told Chloe I would work more on my feedback skills so~ Use commas so there's no run-on sentences. :3 other than that, it's a good story.
Daisy-May: *Cuts her arm with her nail, glancing at the blood and becomes a dog again, barking* -------------- Nebraska: *Kisses his forehead*...
B-but by the time he's level 100, wouldn't he already evolved into a Raichu?...