Separate names with a comma.
Lauryn: Sure, we can try there first. *Smiles and leans agains Ari*
Lauryn: Umm... I think maybe the courtyard... Or the lake?
Axel: I'm... I'm Axel... *Winces in pain* Sorry, the real Axel...
Lauryn: Where do you think Kris is? *Stays close to Ari* Kris: I heard you... But... Why? **
Axel: L-Lily, right? Riku: ... Would you stay with Axel for a bit? *Doesn't wait for a reply and runs off towards Raven*
Kris: *Looks at her, eyes wide* What?!
Axel: *Wakes up* Huh? What's going on..?
Kris: *Sits near the lake*
I agree with Quasi: More detail is a. MUST if you want your story to be the best it can be... Good so far, though!
Gotta go to school... Layterz!
(Gotta go, sorry! Stupid school...)
Rofl... I just realized something... I'M A BRONY!
Yup
Kris: *Sees Chayse* Oh, hey! Why's your hair dyed..?
That's possibly the most hilarious thing I've heard on PIMD ever!
Rofl, Bea!
Kris: *Walks around the courtyard*
(Back! And I guess Chayse is with James, and Kris doesn't yet know it? )
(Soooo, what's going on?)
Featherhunter kept harassing me about RPs on KaW... I believe he claimed they were "Third-Party Advertising" or some such bullshit... God, I hate...