Separate names with a comma.
Sounds good. We've already began working on it.
Gonzo, the sadness it causes the reader is part of what makes it good.
I also think you should explain how the character feels after she (I assume) killed the father. Or maybe just slow it down a bit more. I know it's...
And maybe go a bit more into detail about how the main character is feeling. For example, explain her difficulty getting up? As I'm sure there is...
That is not okay!
Abusive
Just little things while typing, like our instead of out. Nothing major.
Hello there Sav And glad to hear it.
Hmmm... Also proofread! There's a few mistakes And also, unless this ties into part of the secret, maybe change it so that the daughter gets...
Will do :)
Hmmm, I like it, but I'd suggest using a thesaurus or something so that you can use better words to describe what's happening. Instead of words...
So, I know this doesn't deserve it's own thread, but I feel it'll get more attention here than on the story thread when most people have already...
Oh. Studying. Okay! Well I think you'll do well then.
Ghostbusters?
Oh, I skipped to the end after I realized the length.
I don't care if you know me or not. But, the fact that you don't shows how little you actually use these forums since I've been here over a year...
Are you attempting to teach pimd players? Or just writing this for fun? Either way, you're crazy. I'd be bored to death.
I believe in open tutor market, even in war. If they weren't meant to be hired in a war the hire button would be designed so that it wouldn't...
Deadly, you're annoying. That's why you aren't mentioned. Even the people hated are mentioned more than you are. :lol: Gracie, a length of time...