Separate names with a comma.
Actually his name was Aurthur Pendragon.
Kaitlyn: walks away past Goldie.
(she's just hyper) kaitlyn: doing backflips. Elizabeth: sitting in a trolley eating sweets in the store.
Kaitlin: of course im doing something! Are you kidding?! This is a party store! They wouldn't call it that if you weren't supposed to party in it!
Knights*** I think it should be a story because there aren't many girl parts and it's pretty sexist.
Kaitlyn: squealing.
(I'm a brutal critic, sorry y'all. )
It's ok. I mean it could be better. It's very... Sequence-y like first this happened, then this, then this, and then this happened, and finally...
Kaitlyn: percyous?! Is that you?
Kaitlyn: thinking of John. Smiling to herself as she gets odd looks while she walks to the police station wearing this: [img]
Kaitlyn: percyous? Sir?
Yeah I think you where.
Kaityln: still looking out the window.
And use a period or a comma every once and a while! Jeeze. And if this is on your phone you have 0 excuses. Ever heard of spell check?! Your phone...
His skin was the color of lemons?!?! Ew gross.
.
This is awful. Please use grammar. I'm assuming you aren't in 3rd grade although I'm probably wrong.
Kaitlyn: pokes her head out of a window above the alleyway. Are you ok sir? Not seeing its Percy.