Separate names with a comma.
Yea just like they both said, use a LOT of detail. You also needed some quotation marks and other punctuation. But other than that I like it:)
UPDATE. NOW.
-starts to turn into vampire- crap...
Teehee update
UPDATE TWICE MUAHAHHAHA
(IM SO SORRY I HAD TO RUN FOR CROSS COUNTRY) -walks with Ella in the woods, feels her transformation happening- uh oh...umm I gotta..I gotta run...
-Bursts inside Ella's house, sorry I took so long...-
-knocks on Ella's door-
(wait so Am I like a wizard?) -ugh I hate this weather...just like I hate Elizabeth Lowell...*starts ranting and bumps into stranger* hey! Watch...
-*walks to Ella's house*-
*laughs uncomfortably* -haha yea..k be there in a flash-
-umm...maybe for a little, I have...things to do later-
And can She be friends with them (kinda) but also a monster thingy?
Name: Victoria (Vic) Anderson Age: 16 Looks: Purple eyes with yellow specks in them, long, perfect, straight black hair Personality: Mean, can be...
Can I join?
ONE MORE
Hehe Okay two more times now!
I'm gonna nag you all day in French tomorrow I hope you realize-CRAP I FORGOT TO STUDY
U MUST UPDATE! U MUST!
*gasp* you didn't update today!