Separate names with a comma.
It's great! Try separating your story into paragraphs, less mind-boggling.
No, keep going!
Awesome. I showed my brother your last update and he said "Hmm...interesting idea." O.o
I agree
Kylie Don't think I'm some kind of powerless, hopeless romantic. I'm actually very strong-willed. When Quincy left, though, I was nothing. I knew...
Uh-oh
Kylie All throughout the school day, Quincy acted paranoid. Something was bugging him, something important. ------- Quincy...
Kylie When I woke up, I realized how late it was. "Crap! Oh well, I've missed enough school for one day to go unnoticed," I thought. I looked up...
Kylie Tina sounded pissed, but she wasn't the problem. We were safe, for tonight, and I was going to enjoy that. "Psst! Quincy, is she gone?" I...
This story is awesome so far. You're an amazing author kaylee.
Tina I listened to my stilettos click across the old porch. At the door, I peeked inside the window to see an abandoned living room. "If they're...
Wow this has perfect detail balance, enough to tell what happened but not too much. Awesome story!
Quincy That night Kylie couldn't sleep. We were laying on the couch because being in bed together didn't seem quite right. "Kylie, is something...
Quincy After Kylie went up against her "crew" at lunch, the rest of the day was pretty boring. We had class and drove back to my house. I swear,...
Hey I want to read the story too, but remember the people on here have real lives to live.
I think it's good
Kylie I spent the rest of the weekend at Quincy's house. I learned that his parents had disowned him because of his telekinesis. He lived alone...
Kylie Sometime during the night I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up I saw Quincy reading a floating book. Wait, FLOATING book! "Oh,...
Quincy I heard Kylie shout from downstairs. I rushed down and found her tied to a wooden rocking chair. When she saw me, Kylie started to cry....
Quincy I'm going about 10 miles over the speed limit, but the police car I passed was too distracted with his newspaper. Right as I was about to...