Separate names with a comma.
Bump!
Great story! I noticed you tend to repeat "I" frequently. Try to change it up a bit by using he, she, him, her, a name, etc. Overall, great story...
Interesting story! Love the details c:
Remember to proofread after you're done writing and the song is quite fabulous.
-flies to another dimension- it is. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say its not great. It's just the spelling kinda gets to me
Great start! Remember to proof read other than that, it's wonderful.
AWWWWH YESSSS.