Separate names with a comma.
My vision was blurry, as I slightly opened my eyes. I couldn't see for while, then my vision started clearing. I looked around the truck I was in....
Um, because you're using dependent clauses. I don't use them without an independent clause with then. Because using just a dependent clause, is...
Um, it's a first person story...
The explosion killed and severely injured many. I was far enough away, that I wasn't affected by anything, besides small glass shards falling...
Look on your story noobkilla. I did my best to help, And thanks all for your bumps and such. :)
Called* I knew I should've proofread! But my reflex was to send! Bad me! Lol
He*
I decided since you read my story, and told me your issue, I will help. First of all, you spelled apocalypse wrong. Nobody wants to read an...
I kept running and running! I was mere moment away from the exit when something grabbed me. It bit my arm and I elbowed it in the face, and...
Take it from me, if she doesn't like you, move on.
You know, I don't think there is a certain way. I think if she likes you, there you go. Just like guys, I've never been won over with food, cars,...
"Run!" I yelled as me and my friend Chris ran through the streets. Most of the time when we would run, was to avoid getting arrested. Now it was...
Can't wait to see the update.
I was going to say... He bought a gun... That'd set off a red flag! Lol
Are you being sarcastic?
I walked down the street, more like paced. I wasn't me today, I wasn't paying attention, just pressing on. It wasn't like me, I was just too...
Finally going to update this. Time has blessed me!
I'm not complaining. Im pointing out it's cliche.
And* See, we all make errors. But, at least I don't make that many. O.O
I do write my own. But if you write, I think their should be effort, and not so many errors in cliches. If you cared that is.