Separate names with a comma.
-Looks on- Zac... Alex... What's happening?!
-Steps back- Wha...
-Looks away, but then looks back-
-Knocks down servants and looks at Alex- Hey... This is awkward.
-Growls again- You wonder why?!
ZAC! Get off him! -Growls-
-Screams- ALEX!
-Mutters- By the watcher, what is happening?
-Watches and climbs tress to be closer- Alex! -Curses and falls-
-Sniggers- Guard:So the newcomer is just he- WHAT?!
-Looks at the border wall- Alex...
-Hushes you- Hide, now! A guard is coming!
(Can I like him a bit even though I'm not supposed to? It would be so awkward! )
-Smirks and flexes wrist to show you dagger- Life's hard, but we're trying to escape. So c'mon.
-Walks to the forest and sits in a tree-
-Tiptoes through the halls to your cell- A newcomer.
It's really good, tense, I don't really have any flaws. *dies*
Part 4- "Mari, I need to ask you something." His voice was loud but quiet, but still hinted certain despair and maybe heartbreak. "Y-yes?" I...
Why does everyone say holy crap. *Reads it* Oh yeah, that's why. HOLY CRAP!