Separate names with a comma.
Percyous:*hears ruckas and hurries to castle and watches angel bring taken to prison*
Grammar, punctuation, detail and longer paragraphs. Work on these things and you'll be good.
James:*smiles deveously and knocks on annabeth's window and puts finger to lips signifying to keep quiet*
Percyous:*trots through streets slowly on horse*
(estate)
Falcon Kick! *falcan kicks ninja*
Takoura's POV As Istrania lay in the crook of my arm I thought of how much I loved her, and I could see that she loved me. I guess if she didn't...
Falcan Kick!
-gasp- ITS ANOTHER SHERLOCK HOLMES! I SAW HER FIRST FOOLZ!!!!*dives at fallen*
(g2g bia, won't be on as much, today is the first day back to school)
Percyous:Heres the sword you wanted miss angel, it's not made from as good of materials as mine but it'll still cut very well. *hands james the...
Let's do this! I'm super pumped right now! And it's gone..... Back! Gone..... Ba... Gone..... And it's back!
A notch!
James:wrong choice. *fifty undead tie up angel and gag her then hide her as James shifts into her as percyous approaches*
Percyous:*carries sword to front*
NNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Ok, well I hope you feel better.
James:You are a tough one, I'll give you that, just give up, all I wanted was to make sure percyous was dead. If you had listened and allowed me...
Percyous:*wraps the sword in a cloth*
James:Good, she can't hear you anyway, *points at an undead carrying a wrinkled woman with red welts all over and an eye swollen shut along with...
James:Don't forget to say hi to your mother.