Ok just thought of this one so better not be know by any one Life lesson: chugging straight spiced rum does NOT in fact make you a Captain. It does make you a bumbling shit faced idiot who chugged straight spiced rum though
I don't always forget my wife and I's anniversary, but when I do, she goes ape shit and withdraws sex for a month.
My dads quote of the day All I'm sayin is If she can't understand mans inherent need to teabag them what's the use of even talking to her?
Shes hot and Australian when we finished I covered her boobs with an American flag and said "I claim these boobs for America"