Gay Pride and Men's Mental Health

Honestly, I have plenty to say to this but it's clear you're not actually looking to discuss anything, you just want to whine. Come back to fourms when you actually want to create a discussion.

 

As a man the first question that comes to mind is why didnt you bring this up outside of pride? Whether you intended to or not (lets pretend it wasnt intentional) theres clearly a subconscious disdain or hostility towards the concept of pride and probably queer people in general. Dont even respond to this part of it, i just wanted to address it. You can unpack that yourself.

Lets get into the mens mental health aspect and separate pride from it, because thats why you made the post, right? Its not an attack on pride, its just advocating for men without a safe space...

Yeah. Theres totally a lack of support in place for men to be open about how theyre feeling in order to be able to regulate their emotions, but there isnt a lack of awareness. Its not the same thing, because i constantly see other men bringing this up. Theyre clearly aware of it, theres just no outlet for it.

Weve structured a society where men are not expected to be open and honest about their feelings, shortcomings and anxieties which has created a population of people who tend to express those emotions in potentially volatile ways. A lot of that has to do with the fact that theres an internalised hatred of femininity. Weve taught young boys that emotional regulation is an inherently feminine trait, and to be feminine is to be other and we dont want that.

So now you have a population of men who are told that vulnerability is inherently feminine and the capitalistic manosphere that teaches men that everything theyve been doing is right, they just havent been trying hard enough, so with more work and more effort eventually you will reach what you seek. What you want is available to you, you just have to keep doing the same thing youve been doing and if you grind long enough youll have your answers...

But what weve been doing cant be right, right? Because men are currently very concerned about mens mental health. This post shows that.

So who has to answer for that? Because it doesnt seem to be men. I mean, a lot of men are very worried about mens mental health, the male loneliness epidemic, etc. So do we rely on other men? I mean, we cant do that because that would require being vulnerable with our male friends and thats gay. They cant think we're gay, because that has feminine connotations and we've already established that as a man you cannot exhibit any feminine traits. So men cant be open with their male friends who can then, in turn, be open with their male friends.

I guess that leaves women? But why should mens mental health fall on women (as it has been) to be regulated.

Maybe lets take it a step back to examine the full picture. Maybe lets look at the parents who either taught us to be this way or failed to teach us better. But what good does it do us moving forward to acknowledge this. We cant change the past, we can only use it to shape the future. I guess one step forward is to teach the younger generation that it is okay for boys to be vulnerable with their peers, regardless of gender.

But how does that help us now? It doesnt.

The truth is that we as a people have a mental health epidemic, not just men. But thats too many people to address. My honest opinion is that men are not oppressed, so there cannot be an expectation of reparations or resolution from some other group.

Individually, you have to unpack your own mental health. You have to be a pillar to your male friends if you expect that to be reciprocated because you cant realisitically expect anybody else to take ownership of your state of being. Be the change you want to see in the world, and hope that youre not doing it alone.

As a man, i had to form connections with people. With friends and family, and to be empathetic enough to understand them in order to understand myself. That was the grind, that was the hard work, and it doesnt end.

I dont think we will ever see a change to this discussion or these opinions until we get to a point where men are as comfortable being vulnerable around each other as women are. And i think that that subconscious expectation that men have for someone else to provide them the answers, to coddle them, stems from an envy of that kind of allyship, but you cannot give answers to a group of people on how the mind should work when the workings of the mind is an individual experience. It starts with me, and starts with you, and ends when everyone can learn to function together. And hopefully in the future we all can function together.

 

Lmao brother wants to have a discussion about mens mental helath but doesnt want to "read a novel" when the novel is primarily a discussion about mens mental health. Literally out the gate still talking about pride.

We see your intentions Jan. See what i said about men wanting to be coddled and have somebody else give answers to problems they created? Not reading past the first paragraph of your scripture either bud. Have yourself a blessed day.

 

So how is men’s mental month year week health going? You know men suffer more with mental health because of the patriarchy, they also successful unalive themselves because of the type of method THEY use to .. actually unalive themselves. It’s not the mothers fault or the wives fault

 

Men 🥱

 

I don't think you understand her post correctly. She's blaming the class of men for creating and enforcing the gender roles that stigmatize men's mental wellbeing, not individual men for the own issues. So if Jerry has poor mental health and will not seek help because of embarassment, it isn't Jerry's fault. Instead it is the fault of those that created gender roles that force men to swallow their emotions and disregard mental self care; men as a class are the ones that created those standards (even if women as a class do sometimes uphold them).

 

The one sided narrative here will always find a way to blame the pAtRiaCHy.

On another note OP you will never be able to have a discussion around a topic like this. Its a valid question, but no one is allowed to make comparisons or point out the hypocrisy surrounding the community. 🍻

 

All I can gather from this is that you are saying its not a "we" problem its a "you" problem. This does the same thing it does to the BLM movement when everyone piles in to say ALM...

When it comes to the topic of women stepping in to deal with the mental health of a man in their life... It is the responsibility of a woman to care about it. Just like its equally important for a man to be responsible and care about it for the women in their life.

Context matters and anyone in your life dealing with mental health issues is going to need someone to face it with them. Yes we all deal with it but none of us should have to face it alone.

I feel there does need to be more awareness around the topic because of view points like the ones you've expressed here.

You seek to segregate the shared responsibility between men and women when it comes to mental health problems.
Thats not okay. It is a daily challenge like you said but not one men should take on alone.

I acknowledge that men struggle to open up to other men in their lives. It is an issue and you've pointed out solid contributing factors to it. But your solutions are warped and apart of the reason people should create awareness around it.

I'll finish this off with saying this. It is okay for men to open up to each other. Its also okay for the responsibility to fall to women. Mental health shouldn't be a thing anyone has to face alone. We need to be there for each other. Its not just a "You" problem you have to figure out. I've lost a lot of family and friends because of this narrative.