Your My Mother

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by MickyMcLovin, Jun 24, 2011.

  1. Arent you supposed to love me,
    to take care of me,
    to hold me when i cry,
    to laugh when i make a joke,
    give me advice about that cute boy, the one who ignores me you remember him,
    dont you?
    your supposed to let me make mistakes,
    hold my hand while i make that awkward transition from girl to wamon,
    But you didnt!
    Oh! the irony of it all,
    you left me to fend for myself!
    i cried under my sheets!
    i laughed at my own jokes,
    That cute boy? he called me a freak!
    He said i was ugly!
    do you think im ugly, mommy?
    I was never given the chance to make mistakes,
    I was given a book for that transition!
    you may be my mother but you are not my MOM.


    I'm fairly noobish to all this but I don't normally post. Please remember this is from the heart
     
  2. Aww it didn't post all of it lol remember it's from the heart
     
  3. Dammit!! It did it again. I appreciate any writers criticism^.^ thanks guys!!
     
  4. Im not really big on poetry. From what I've read it was good 
     
  5. Thank you Ryan:) i appreciate it!
     
  6. Bytch it's amazing!!!!!!! FUC YES!! :D I  It!!! You are so good at writing poetry!!! Girlie I luv ur poetry ^.^ Woot woot!! It's awesome!! :]
     
  7. Haha you rock Jess! I want to hear flaws so I can improve it! Come on people let's go!! Haha I LOVE YOU JESS
     
  8. Wow thats really nice!! i love it! I love poetry. Great job! Keep writing!  Hope you feel better. 
     
  9. I cannot find any Flaws at all!!!! None!! Maybe put a few commas here and there, idk, bit it's amazing ^.^
     
  10. Thanks Aphrodite:) it was actually written a few months ago so I'm all better haha I just wanted to make sure I was ready to post without breaking out in tearsand yeah i know lol i didn't proofread but yeah i need commas
     
  11. I'm speechless, in a good way
     
  12. Thanks swift:) I'm glad I impaired your talking lol
     
  13. Nice poem
    Bypassing is against the rules
     
  14. Rules are made to be broken lol thanks:) it took alot to finally post itany suggestions for improving?
     
  15. I HATE POETRY!!!! but tat was just amazing omg get that krap published
     
  16. can u read my forum it at active topics