I realize I just posted a thread but I just had another thought. What are your thoughts on "winning breakups." There is a person here that I used to be friendly with who I was talking to when I was going thru a breakup over christmas and he kept telling me that I needed to "win the breakup" by essentially being a huge jerk and not answering on-off relationship exes texts or going to see them or anything. I thought it was like super juvenile to try and "win" a breakup and that peeps should just like bare their souls or whatever even if they end up hurt in the end just cuz ya never knoooow but I didn't say anything cuz I didn't wanna be mean. Anyway. Do you guys try and "win" breakups or do you think I'm correct in thinking that's dumb af. This just crosses my mind every so often cuz one of the last times me and that pimd person spoke they were just kinda like "you lost the breakup, you're pathetic lulz" and I was kinda like "oh this is why everyone hates him but also I do feel mildly pathetic cuz I'm sad." Ya
Sounds stupid as fuck. Is it a comp to see how many people can break up with in a certain amount of time?
Lmao no. His reasoning was like, in a breakup there is a winner and a loser and the loser ig is the one who noticeably has the most feels or appears to care the most and moves on the slowest? Altho I don't think I moved on the slowest but the other two did appear to be me for a while
I’ve always thought the idea of “winning” a break up sounded stupid but I’ve also never dated so what do I know
Lmao no. I last spoke to that person a month ago...she messaged me trying to hook up altho prior to that we hadn't spoken since her birthday which was Feb 1st. I'm dating someone v nice now which is weird...I'm like slowly realizing that everyone I've ever dated before was somewhat abusive which I think I gravitated towards cuz low self esteem and maybe cuz I grew up w a rough family. It's like weird dating someone mentally healthy who's just nice to me and doesn't constantly insult me and/or threaten to kill themselves or do generally scary things. Nice but weird
Low key can see why everyone hates him... And not pathetic at all tbh, like you gotta crush the other person feelings to win? Good advice, Dr. Phil. The only way to probably show you win over a break up(if there's even a way) is to be a decent person, not a jerk(?
I’m not gonna lie.. there are times when a relationship ended that I felt like really hurt and it seemed like they didn’t and it definitely felt like I lost but I don’t think the alternative is better... on the other hand I have been used, and cheated on, and in 2 breakups I was intentionally as brutal as I possibly could have been. One cheated on me with 3 different people, one of them was my friend, and he got her pregnant LOL. The other one developed a heroin addiction and after trying to help put him through rehab twice he stole over $1000 from me and hid all his dirty needles and shit under the passenger seat of my car and I exploded with more anger than I thought was ever possible.
This doesn't make sense. Relationships aren't about winning or losing against each other in the first place. It's about being there for each other, supporting each other. So after spending time with each other being there for each other, it suddenly turns into a competition when u part ways? That's stupid. When emotions are involved, you do what makes u feel at piece in the moment, except self harm.
Thats terrible. I'm sorry this happened to you. If you get a chance, hit them where it hurts. But this doesn't mean focusing your time and energy into them and finding ways to hurt them.
Oh no. I made it pretty known I wanted nothing to do with them, I didn’t care where they went, what they did. One of them I kicked out, put his shit in a trash bag and dropped it at his moms cause I didn’t even want him at my house. Blocked his number, blocked him on everything.. then a month later he called me from jail asking me to get ahold of his mom to put money on his account and I laughed and hung up on him 🙃 he was the one that stole money from me. I felt that was pay back. I think that sometimes being cold and totally removing someone from your life can cut deeper than spending your time and energy trying to hurt them.