Wedding of Redemption (story)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Satans_Crow, Dec 8, 2014.

  1. This will be my first story in fan-fic, so if you could give some feedback, I would greatly appreciate it. I will be making a few parts, 3 at least. I'm not sure how long I'll keep it going though, so if you could give me an idea as to how long it should run as well, I would appreciate that as well. Thank you for taking your time to read it.


    Part One
    She walked down the aisle. As she drew closer to the bastard, she felt utmost fear and hatred for him, growing with every carefully placed footstep. He stood before her, a fake, welcoming, and handsome grin on his smug face. It made her fear him more, this wolf in sheep's clothing. She reached the altar, now face to face with the man she has to marry, the man that will ensure that she doesn't die alone. The man that raped her. She looks up into his eyes and sees him looking at her body, every curve and crevice. Her blood turns to stone. She wants to scream, but can't. She hears the pastor talking, but it is just a desolate murmur to her. She can't stop looking into his eyes. She notices his mouth move, but words are inaudible. She pleads to anyone to stop it from happening, but she still can't do anything but stare. She then sees movement at the doorway of the church. A man walks in late to the ceremony, and sits at the back on her family and friends' side.
     
  2. Ooohhh this has me interested, I like the imagery Continue please haha
     
  3. Thank you. Part Two will be in the perspective of the man that just walked in.
     
  4. Btw, the story is also going to get fairly interesting in parts two and three.
     
  5. Cool story so far, Zach :)
     
  6. Meh... ?
    No support.
     
  7. Stop being a dick vip.
     
  8. What?
    I'm not ViP ?
     
  9. Get out of my thread, "_ViP_", or whatever else your name was before "Fume".
     
  10. Meh, you can't kick me from a thread. I'm not trolling or anything I just saying no support ?
     
  11. Yet you claim to not be yourself. Plus, I'm sure the mods would agree that you are being obnoxious to the readers because now all of this is here.
     
  12. The mods simply wouldn't care.
    Also have you never heard of a joke numptiy ?
     
  13. You haven't heard of grammar, so we're even.
     
  14. And I don't care. Hush little man.
     
  15. You're the one acting like a child, commenting on my thread simply because you don't like me. Just get lost already. If you don't care, then you shouldn't be here.
     
  16. It's was better with you not around. Maybe you should leave.
     
  17. It was better when you weren't around. I could talk without someone arguing with me. Anyways, that was the rp. This is MY thread, and you started this.
     
  18. Well since you have been gone a lot has become better so I think that's rubbish
     
  19. Awe. Fumey is hating. Tsk tsk.