Warne Valley Academy

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by *Adelynn (01), Jun 15, 2011.

  1. Hey you guys! This is a new story! I don't need characters but I'm gonna be working my favorite peeps into this new story.

    Enjoy!

    The sun broke through the thick white clouds. Its rays bathed me in a warmth that kissed my skin like a returning lover. The train station that was once overflowing with riders was now eerily silent. And as the coming train approached, its whistle invited me to board. The bustle of people exiting the train pushed and shoved as I forced myself through to the doors.
    In the passing crowd I met a pair of blue silver eyes. It bore into my soul looking for something, what, I don't know. It left just as soon as it arrived leaving me standing in the threshold of the doorway as stumped as any person could be. A small tap on the shoulder woke me from my daze. The man asked for something but his words seemed like a different language.
    “Your ticket miss”
    I slipped it from the pocket of my backpack hanging off my left shoulder. As I handed it to the man, he gave me a small worried smile. No doubt questioning my sanity. I began to question my own sanity. The eyes had seemed to be alone without face or body to accompany it.

    The train still held a few passengers, one of them being a young soldier. His uniform was ironed and looked sharp. His emotionless face met her eyes as she was looking at him. With a motion he offered her the seat across from him. She sat as he stared out his window. He was a fair height for someone his age with a thin build. At a closer distance she could see he was nervous about something. His lip quivered just a bit and his hand shook slightly. She tried to comfort the stranger with a kind smile but it wasn't quite possible for her to pull it off. As cheery and happy as she may seem, the truth behind her plastered mask was quite the opposite. She could feel his nervousness under her skin and soon enough she herself was feeling quite nervous also. He seemed to mutter something to her but she didn't hear. She gave him a questioning look. “My name is Ryan. I'm returning home to see my family.”

    He had a surprisingly calm voice. He seemed much less nervous and she understood talking would help ease that emotion. “It's nice to meet you. My names Ariadne.” She held out her hand towards him and he grabbed it and shook it. His grip was strong but she could tell he was trying in all his power to be gentle as if he thought he would break her. “You must be excited to see your family.”

    “Yes I am. I'm extremely excited. I'm hoping no ones changed too much though. My little sister just turned fourteen and I heard she got herself a boyfriend so I’m anticipating on meeting the kid that stole my baby sister's heart. If you know what I mean.” He grinned at her and chuckled a bit. “So where are you headed?”

    “I'm enrolled at a new private boarding school. My parents thought it would be an amazing new adventure for me. The solo train ride is just the beginning of it too.”

    “Ah, I see. Private school isn't too bad I wouldn't think. You wear uniforms but you also don't have far to go to get to classes. What's this place called?”

    “Warne Valley Academy. It's just a typical, picture perfect school you know. Its brochure features happy smiling boys and girls all nice and dressed up in their uniforms. I'm not sure how this will be an adventure but I’m sure it's gonna be hell.”

    Ryan started laughing at her. He had a genuine smile on his face and she couldn't help but laugh along with him. “Aw man. I remember a friend of mine going to private school. All I heard was the hell he had to go through just to survive one day. All I can say is good luck.” She jokingly punched him in the arm as they both started laughing again. The train ride didn't take as long with Ryan there with her talking about his family and his time at basic training and his tour in some country she couldn't remember. Before she knew it, she had fallen asleep and Ryan was gone. He had left a little note where he had been .

    Sorry I couldn't say goodbye. I didn't want to wake you, but it was great meeting you. You definitely made what would've been a boring ride into one worth taking so thanks. Good luck with school, I hope we meet again in the future. - Ryan

    She smiled to herself as she read the note over again a few more times. He wrote better than most guys she knew. When she woke again she was at her stop. Quickly grabbing her bag and heading for the doors she thought she felt someone staring at her but when she looked around the feeling had passed. She was now in a small town but it was far from poor. In fact it looked like the sort of place rich people went for a vacation when they wanted to get away. Nature was close by but so were stores and boutiques. Ariadne found a cab that would take her straight to the school. She hoped her parents remembered to she'd her luggage otherwise she would only have one extra set of clothes, a toothbrush, a few books and a small bag of cheez-its.
    The school was a good distance from the town. It was built next to the very large lake and looked like it had been there for centuries with its cobblestone driveway and sidewalks. The benches were made of stone and the building were of bricks. It was definitely beautiful there. The flowers planted around the school gave it a peaceful look and its Victorian style lamp posts were the final touches to the architectural masterpiece.
     
  2. I'm in the story!!!

    If I may add a critique, I noticed the first paragraph was in 1st person then you switched to 3rd. Idk if you meant to do that. But who cares it was still AMAZING!
     
  3. Beautiful , you are a great writer Adelynn.
     
  4. AMAZING (turtle emoji)
     
  5. I think we both will be in it... As long as I have a turtle named Michaelangelo
     
  6. From one writer to another, that was really good. Your vocabulary was astounding and the detail was magnificent! Quite an intreging story:) My only crtisicm would be (as Ryan pointed out) that you switch tenses. I personally would suggest against it, for it confuses readers. But since it just for the purpose of this app, I don't think it matters too much. If you were to make an entire book though, I would suggest revising it all to one common tense. Other than that, it was terrific! Keep up the good work 
     
  7. Daaaaamn rys a dream boat!!!!
     
  8. Great story except for the 1st to 3rd person thing.
     
  9. Yea bruin I get that a lot ..
     
  10. Sorry bout that pov thing. The intro was actually written two months ago and the rest was written the day I posted.
     
  11. A. W. E. S. O. M. E!!!!!!!!!
     
  12. And yes Sophie. Your already in it. I actually wrote you in on the next update. You and Aaron and some of the mods.

    Zeuss is the female this time and Leo is the man in the relationship and even neon is in it. I'm throwing in the people I like and know in this game.
    It should get pretty interesting.
     
  13. LMAOOOO ZEUSS A WOMAN
     
  14. Upon entering the school she was greeted by a garrulous brunette. “Hey there. My names Qin. Welcome to Warne Valley Academy where the scenery is beautiful, the grass is greener, the teachers know what they're talking about and where you can pave a future for yourself.” Oh god, Ariadne thought to herself. She sounds like a brochure. “Whats your name?”

    “Ariadne Flora DeMaxim.”

    “Alrighty! I looove your name. It is soo unique. Well I am going to show you to your room and then you can check out the school for yourself oor you can meet me back here for a lovely little tour of our spectacular campus. But I would totally suggest the second choice cause then you can meet some of the other new students that will be going here. I totally did and I loved it! I made my first friend on the tour. AND OH MY GOSH! There she is!” The sound of screeching almost killed Aria as she watched Qin jump up and down hugging some skinny red head. “Ariadne, this is my best friend, and soul sister, Colleen.”

    “You can call me Collie though. Like the dog but i'm not black and white or a dog.” This was followed by more giggling and smiles too big for the girl's faces. Collie was pretty, there was no denying that. She wasn't gorgeous like a model but her red hair (almost brown actually) was perfectly straight and she was skinny, with a pleasant face.

    “It's nice to meet you Collie.” She tried to give her the friendliest smile she could muster up and it seemed she had succeeded cause after her attempt, Qin had said goodbye and was dragging Ariadne down the hall and out the back door to a building on the west side of the campus. These were the dormitories. She remembered from the map in the brochure. West were living quarters and East were classrooms while the main building held the cafeteria, and auditorium. Behind it was the gymnasium which was attached to the pool.

    As they made it to the girl's dorms she could hear the buzzing of voices and giggling. They ran into three girls still in their everyday clothes like Aria and unlike Qin. The first was a small brunette, her hair was cut short. She was average sized with green eyes. Her fair skin was indeed flawless and her teeth were straight and white. She was wearing a white t shirt and jeans with white flip flops.
    The second was A pink haired, blue eyed girl. She had a swimmer's body so Aria guessed that was what she did. The girl was just as pretty as the first but instead wore jean shorts with a band shirt. Her tennis shoes were scoffed just a bit and her nails had been painted red.
    The third was a small girl. She had long dirty blonde hair and green eyes. She was wearing a soft pink sundress and what must have been twenty or thirty bracelets.

    “Hey girls! Good to see you again. How was your summer?” Qin gave them all her big friendly smile and hugged them each.

    “Oh it was great. We spent the summer at each others houses and we did a lot of tanning and swimming. How about you?” The pink haired girl spoke nicely but Aria could tell she and her friends were a little impatient with Qin and her overly zealous mood.

    “Oh you know I did this and that. I traveled to Paris which was soo beautiful and I went swimming with dolphins in Hawaii. My parents absolutely love to travel. Can you believe that time flew by so fast and we're back here already? But oh well! I love this place!” Qin was being for real when she said this. The girls got stranger and stranger by the minute.

    “So who's the new girl. Not a freshman I don't think.” This time it was the blonde that spoke.

    “Oh darn. I totally forgot! Ladies, this is Ariadne. She's completely new to all of this and she is in fact a junior this year. Ariadne, this is Sophie.” She motioned towards the pink haired girl who smiled and said a quick nice to meet ya. “This beautiful brunette is Rebecca and little blondie over here is Bonnie.”

    “it's nice to meet you guys. Um, I guess I’m gonna go find my room.” She walked away as Qin quickly hugged the other girls goodbye and followed.

    “Okay so your room is to the right, ummm, here it is! Room 106.” Qin opened the door revealing another girl who was quietly unpacking her things. It was pretty good sized considering it was a double roomer. The room was split in half with two separate closets and mirrors. At least she knew they wouldn't be fighting over who would be getting ready first in the mornings. There was a single large window in the center of the room with thick cream colored curtains. The hard wood floor was neatly polished and the walls were painted a soft pink. “Okay girlie, I’m gonna leave you to meet and get to know your roomie and I hope to see you two for the tour. Now I gotta head over real quick and guide a few other newbies to their room. see ya!”

    Aria signed with relief as Qin shut the door. She looked over at her room mate who looked back over at her. “Hi, I’m Zeuss. Yeah I know it's a guy's name, my parents are crazy and I’m not a god. It's nice to meet you. I hope you don't mind me taking this side of the room. I didn't think their would be a big difference really.”

    “No it's fine and Zeuss is a cool name. I’m Ariadne, but you can call me Aria. So, I got the left side of the room then...It's nice. It's a big room. I thought it would be much smaller.”

    “Yeah I know. Me too. But hey, if they wanna give us this much room, it's fine by me. By the way, the awesome thing about this place is there are no resident advisers, so we can pretty much do whatever we want, just as long as we clean up messes in case of random room checks. Which are indeed random. We tried to find a pattern but these guys are good. Collie was caught last year with her boyfriend Charlie in her room with their shirts off. They got into so much trouble but since it was the first offense they were just taken out of classes they shared and were monitored at all times. Plus their parents found out. But hey whatever you know. You get caught, and you just be more careful the next time. If you have any questions just ask me. Oh yeah stay away from Leo Vinci, he's mine. I don't mean that in a threatening way, its just that he and I have been together since freshman year and I love him like crazy.” Aria couldn't help but laugh at that. Zeuss was a tall blonde with a model's body, this included the long legs and great butt. Her blue eyes popped and her hair was worn long and wavy. She had already dressed in her uniform, which she pulled off better than most would.

    Aria went to her side of the room where her bags had already been dropped off at and she quickly unpacked her things. She opened a drawer and noticed her uniforms were neatly placed inside. She grabbed one and threw it on, not caring that Zeuss would see her in her underwear just ten minutes after they met. “So quick question. Whats up with Qin?”

    “Oh her. She's just super excited about school and everything else. Her parents help fund the gym. In turn, she's made head of student office and she gets to be head cheerleader. Don't let the cheer leading fool you though. She's not a pompous biatch like most are. She's completely friendly and nice to everyone. And I mean everyone. We got her so drunk one night she was dancing on a table in the common room. Funniest thing EVER. But don't worry about her. She's harmless. Now how about we go find Leo so you can meet my magic man.” With that Zeuss gave Aria a wink and sauntered out of the room.

    They had made it to the dormitory courtyard when they ran into four guys. Aria was introduced to each by Z. The first one was Leo. He was a tall guy with dark hair and a nicely toned body. Aria could tell why Z was so in love with him. He was a handsome guy with strong features and an authoritative air to him.
    The second guy was Neo. He was maybe shorter than Leo by one inch. He had light brown hair and green eyes. He seemed friendly enough with a deep voice and a rough appearance that could be mistaken for sexy. For some reason he made her think of wolves, especially the way he grinned at her.
    The third guy was by far the cutest. He had brown hair and blue eyes. He was six foot and had the body of a determined athlete. His lips, on a woman would be beautiful, on him it was all out attractive. This was Charlie, and he just so happened to be Collie's.
    As for the fourth guy, he was Damien. In comparison to Charlie, he was cute. He wore his pants low like a wannabe gangster and she could already tell he was the type to carry around a switch blade in his pocket.

    After introductions Z showed aria the rest of the school. As the tour went on more students started to appear and parents drove up dropping them off. A lot of the upper class men drove. There was a designated parking lot for students just off from the dorms.
    The tour was cut short when a woman’s voice came on through the intercom announcing that students had to attend an assembly in the auditorium. They walked in and Aria immediately noticed Sophie's pink hair, and sitting beside her was Bonnie and Rebecca. Qin was also there with Collie who was intertwined in Charlies arms, which was broken up by a nearby teacher. Z had found Leo and was waving him over, and with him came Neo and Damien. As they all took seats in the back a large man walked onto the stage and stood before them. He was the headmaster and behind him was a thin older woman with white hair. She was supposedly the guidance counselor. Mr. P cleared his throat readying himself for a long lecture about the new school year and the responsibilities that the students would undertake with their studies and other extra curricular activities. He droned on for about half an hour before the guidance counselor, Mrs. Nuur began her hour long speech about this and that and not doing drugs and going to her for help. And after that the students were dismissed giving them the rest of the day to settle in and prepare for the following week. It was Friday and the upcoming Monday would be their first official school day.

    Aria walked beside Neo and Damien, and behind Leo who had his arm around Z's shoulder, occasionally kissing her. They stopped at the courtyard and took a seat in the grass. Z laid out her long legs as Leo laid his head in her lap. Aria was still between Damien and Neo, both sitting uncomfortably close. As Sophie, Bonnie, and Rebecca approached Aria noticed Charlie and Collie following close behind. They joined the group laughing at each other as they pushed and shoved trying to get a seat next to Neo. Aria could understand this. Neo was far from ugly. Collie and Charlie took a seat next to the other couple, Collie sitting between Charlies legs curled up in his arms. Aria had noticed the way Sophie had settled next to Rebecca. Their legs crossed over one another and Sophie had put her head on Rebecca's shoulder. It took her a minute to process this but Damien leaned over and pointed out what was now obvious. “Soph and Becca are a thing. Both lez and both extremely hot.”
     
  15. LOL AWESOME ADDY you're really good at writing!! Really really good!!!
     
  16. Aria looked around at the group. Just a bunch of teenagers, some in love, others just living it up in the single scene. This wasn't much different from public school other than the uniforms and dorms. The sun was beating down on them and it felt good to feel it's warm kisses on her face. She looked up at the bright blue sky wishing she could fly in that blue heaven. But alas she was stuck on solid ground with no way up. She stood up slowly and brushed herself off.

    Sophie noticed Aria stand and looked at her for a moment. She had long black hair. It was straight and her eyes were a dark chocolatey brown. Her tan skin had a golden look to it and her uniform didn't take away from her looks at all. She was pretty. But Sophie noticed how Neo seemed to look at her now. He was watching her and she knew what he had in mind. "Aria, where you going?"

    "Oh, I'm just gonna head to my room and finish unpacking some stuff. I'll see you guys later for dinner though." Aria walked away, sighing with relief as she felt the pressure of being around so many people fly from her chest. She was never good in big groups, it seemed to overwhelm her more than anything else.
    The walk to the dorm was short but as she approached the doors she thought she saw someone at the side of the building so out of curiosity she walked over. She hadn't expected what happened next. She was pushed up against the wall, someones hands on her arms holding her and their heavy breath pounding in her face. She looked into their bright crystal like eyes and felt herself drown in their beauty.
     
  17.  I'm in it?! Yay! Who's my bf?? Lol