Soz like you've been waiting like two fuck months for this and Roy's asleep and IDGAF so here's this do with it what you will. 1. Little things Smoothing down her skirt, she brings her eyes up to squint at the clock. She's aware of her need for glasses, yes, but glasses are ugly. She cannot afford more ugly. Teetering off the edge as it is, she resists the urge to tear her hair out. That would ruin her bun, which, while she did not work very hard to achieve—straight, stringy hair comes in handy for that— it still looks presentable. She drums her fingers against her thigh idly, carefully and thoroughly bored. The bell rings with a loud twang, and she smiles at her friends in the hallway. Maybe even waves, if she can manage as much. The crowded halls impede her process, as she picks her way through the maze, catching a fleeting "See you later, Ang." Here or there. She's finally outside with a sudden burst of cool Autumn air. It's a mildly breezy day, horrible skirt weather but she couldn't resist. The sun is shimmery at the end of high noon, and there's something oddly beautiful about the way it shines on the leaves of an oak clinging to school grounds. She can't think about this long because there is a Teddy caught in her peripheral. "Hey Sis," she gives him a sidelong glance. The lighting is really nice, it even affects her annoying little brother. "Hi Ted." She grumbles and he grins at her, "Hey! Ya called me Ted!" He says, smile still pulling at the corners of his mouth. He has her mother's dimple, right smack dab in the middle of his left cheek. He looks a lot like her, in retrospect. Angel is more towards her dad, leanish with a smattering of dark hair, Teddy more like their mother, with delicate eyelashes and pallid looking. She can see the sharp contrast between the blue vein in his wrist and his skin. He walks with a direct quickness about him, legs at sharp angles beneath him. She plods beside him, the sound of her feet dragging echoing on Harrisons street. "Ya know what Peter said in class today?" He says after about three minutes of the two of them plodding along, "Whasat?" She indulges him, feeling mildly indifferent. "Said he knew a girl in your grade who knew you and I was like..." she tunes out his animated talk, offering nods of her head. He chatters all bubbly like and she's glad to listen. They reach home after Teddy concludes his story about the class hamster. "Ma?" Angel calls, and from the kitchen their mother's voice rings out high and clear, "'M'here darlin'." Teddy takes off, backpack shed, stepping up behind their mother, arms wrapped around her waist. "Hello Theo." She says, stirring her concoction slowly. Angel is slower, depositing her things messily on the floor and sitting in one of the dining room chairs. The lower light filters into the room through the filmy curtains mothee has half drawn. "When's Daddy coming home?" Teddy detaches himself from her and sits a suitable distance away from his sister on the kitchen counter. "Oh I just got off the phone with him; he's on his way." She says promisingly and Angel sags. "How was your day?" Mother prompts and that's all it takes for Teddy to launch into his spiel. She seems to gasp and to laugh and comment in time with him, and at the very end, Angel mutters "Good," unprompted, as per usual. Teddy picks up again and Angel fingers the leaves of the flower on their table. Their father has a strange affinity for petunias. Mother said it was because their late grandmother did, too. ~*~ "I'll tell you, best way to find a good man is to see how he is with his momma." Her mother tells her, hands wrapped around a mug of coffee. Early Saturday morning is her coffee time. "He's gonna treat you like he'd want a man to treat her. Yes sire." Mother nods sagely and Angel smiles a little. The two of them are always up early, both having troubles with sleep. "I don't really know if I wanna get married..." she says quietly and her mother puts a hand on hers, "Don't be silly darlin', a ‘course you'll get married, you'll be the most beautiful bride this side a' the Mississippi don't you worry." She says affectionately, as her father shuffles in, jaw covered in prickly hair, corners of his mouth sticky when he yawns. He pecks her mother on the mouth anyways though she knows his breath must stink. "See, this right here is a man who loves his momma." ~*~ Dad gets home when dinner is just about ready. His boots shake the ground as he plods in. "Why hello there little lady," He winks at mother, even though he sags with exhaustion. Teddy stands up to approach, while Angel just nods and smiles at him. "And how are ya Squirt?" He says to Teddy who's bouncing to talk. "I'm golden pa, I took a test today and I was number 2 in the class!" Teddy blurts out, chest swelling with pride. "Alright! Much more you're the best in town. Keep on keepin’ on." Dad ruffles his hair affectionately. "And how's my princess?" He asks, kissing Angel on her temple, "Good. I'm good." She smiles genuinely, though it's small because showing the world her metal mouth wasn't on the agenda. They sit down for dinner after a semblance of a prayer. "Thank the lord our heavenly father for the food before us today. Amen." Dad calls out quickly before they dig in. "And do you know what Marcus said to me?" Dad says, "What'd he say?" Mother replies instantly, "Said fags like his cousin were god fearin' people." His voice is injected with disbelief, and just the right amount. "And they aren't?" Teddy asks, head cocked because he doesn't really know much about that kind of stuff. "A'course. Ain't natural. Only godless people sodomize." Dad tells him patiently, and his son looks pensively at his green beans. "Ya know what's a cute saying? I heard it on that Fox news- 'It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve'." Their mother pitches in and Angel giggles, "I guess that's right, isn't it?" "What's 'sodomize'?" Teddy asks, and dad sighs, "You'll learn when you're older. Anyways, I heard there's gon be powder puff football and your school, Angie." He changes the subject and she nods, mouth occupied with her mashed potatoes. "Ya plannin' on joinin'?" Teddy asks the next logical question and Angel shakes her head, "I don't really like to play, to watch, sure, but not to play." She laments, and dinner passes by quickly. Angel sits on the edge of her bed, fidgeting. She can't sleep. It's an anxious kind of can't sleep. She grinds her teeth, glaring at the dark nothingness. "Ang?" Her door opens, and there is her father, shirtless and concerned. She looks at him, confused. "Dad?" "Hey hun. Can't sleep?" "No." "Want me to tell you a story?" "No." "What's goin on darlin?" "Nothing," "You sure?" "Yeah, I'll go to bed now." She mutters and he hugs her briefly, all wiry muscle and acrid musky smell. "Love ya Ang." "Yeah. Night," she mumbles and he gives her a grin reminiscent of Teddy and that's one thing he got from dad, she thinks as she lays down, staring at her ceiling. Maybe the only. She falls asleep with a smile in her head. ** Teddy wakes up in the morning to the pungent smell of bacon. His stomach growls in response. Flexing his toes, he stretches. He ambles into the kitchen, yawning. His mom has her hair up in a tight ponytail and gives him a broad grin. "Morning sweetums," She intones, and he notices his sister, dressed in shorts for once, picking at her plain scrambled eggs. "Morning ma. Where's pa?" He asks, slightly disappointed. "Oh you just missed him. He went to work early today." She says and serves him. Promptly, his bacon and egg smiley face is inhaled. "Is your shirt backwards?" His sister asks, squinting at him critically. "Do you need glasses?" He replies, wiping his mouth delicately. "Are you stupid?" She snaps at him and their mother intervenes, "Theo go get your stuff ready. Angel, just eat a little bit." Her benign face forces him to comply, but not before sticking his tongue out at her. She returns the favor and he paces a little in the living room, waiting impatiently. His shirt is on backwards, he notices, and fixes it hurriedly before his sister can say I told you so like she always does. He has a sense of anxiety, as his sister languidly puts on her shoes and grabs her key from the key rack grandmother on mom's side got them from Nicaragua (she does a lot of mission stuff). She always does things so slowly. The morning sky is a pretty pink, and Teddy blinks tiredly at it. They leave the house with a hug from mother, meandering down the straightforward path. He waves, departing from his sister with a heavy heart, and practically jogs to get to class in time. A girl in his class likes him. She's got blonde hair and chews gum a lot. He's not sure what to think, but she grabs his hand for a second. It’s sweaty and gross and doesn't last nearly long enough, so he doesn't really know the appeal. It's early in the day, and his teacher rambles on about long division or something, until the intercom comes to life and the secretary calls for him. He waves goodbye to the girl and his friends, for they’re not the same thing, and gathers his things from his cubby hole, hurrying up to the office. There is his mother, holding hands with his sister. Both of their faces are a blotchy red, and his mother hugs him with bone crushing force. She trembles, a little, and he's never been so afraid in his life. She's tightlipped as she signs for him and after they get outside, she says quietly, "Your dad had an accident." ** --------- Dramatic aF. U go me. This is a bad idea. Oh. Fuckin. Well.
2. Golden Man Yeah, an accident. "Working in a factory's hard work, guys." He sighs, propping his feet up in the coffee table. "Especially workin' with machines. They're dangerous." Their mother frets. "Don't worry darlin' I know what I’m doing. Besides, the lord's watching out for you." "How do you know?" Angel chews on a hangnail. "Because he watches over all the good people." He smiles up at the sky and Teddy can see the glint of his gold leafed cross around his neck. The doctor tell mother in a quiet voice that the necklace got caught in the teeth of one of the machines, and in a panic, he stuck his hand in there too. He's pale but conscious when they get there, and Angel fidgets with his rosary, glossing her fingers over the beads. They tell her mother lots of big words she doesn't understand, so she doesn't worry that much. His hand is covered in bandages, that the nurses change once exactly. They spend the day with him, or rather a few hours. He's quiet, but his good hand brushes his wife's once and awhile and the look in his eyes is enough. Giving into exhaustion, he falls asleep around seven o'clock. ** He's supposed to get better. They tell Teddy this. Then they give him a lollipop. That doesn't make it much better, and he doesn't eat it. He feels sort of sick, when he goes to bed. In the middle of the night, Angel crawls into his bed and cradles his head. She whispers that mom is crying. She also tells him she didn't want to bother her. He's okay with this. Just tonight though. Girls still have cooties, as far as he's concerned. School stinks. It reeks of happy families and glue. He's unusually reserved. He's peeved. People understand. Another teacher offers him a lollipop. He takes it and puts it next to the other one on his nightstand. He doesn't like green apple anyways. They visit dad again and he looks better. His hand is beginning to heal, luckily not much damage was done. He still can't talk, his throat hurts too much. There's a purpling bruise around his throat. The doctor says he's lucky he didn't...Teddy doesn't know the word. It sounds scary. The receptionist offers him a lollipop. It's grape flavored. It gets a place with the others. A week passes. School is more normal. He has five more lollipops. He hates all of them. In fact, the only kind that he likes is orange. His dad can sit up and say a couple words here or there. Better, he'll say, and Angel will smile, and Teddy only notices because she doesn't do that a lot. At least at home. Another week passes. Dad is still not home. He still can't talk much. He looks brighter, though. Teddy is optimistic. Also, he gets a hundred on a test. He's happy about that. Three weeks. Dad isn't looking so hot. There are whispers of infection. The lollipops tripple. Still no orange. Bubblegum girl's name is Ashley. She's nice. A month. The whispers are now screams. Mom has turned a new shade of green. She fidgets a lot. Sometimes her eyes are puffy and red. Angel spends a lot of time in her room, alone, blasting loud music. When Teddy asks her about it, she brushes him off. Maybe girls don't have cooties, or maybe Ashley is special. Two months. Mom's eyes are permanently red. They can't see dad anymore, he's real bad. Or at least Angel says so. She doesn't talk to him much anymore, and she won't walk home with him side by side. Lollipops are dumb. He doesn't even like orange anymore. Four months. Complications. C-o-m-p-l-i-c-a-t-i-o-n-s; it's on his spelling test. Dad has to go into surgery some more. Something bad happened. He's not sure what. People stop giving him candy because he won't even look at them anymore. Ashley sits with him under the slide while he broods. There is another test on something. He doesn't do well. Angel has become the Nicest Person Ever in like a week, after their mom doesn't get out of bed to give them dinner. ** Father goes into cardiac arrest around twelve o' clock at night after his second to last surgery, sleeps right through it. He was 39. The doctor looks at them in a sad way, tilting her head towards their shell shocked mother. It feels like she's been here before. It chills Angel to her very core. Asdfghjkl who let me do this lmao not even edited idc i do what i want.
I can tell it's not edited. Daddy dad dad? yeah yeah death it's sad blah blah I need the incest
The only person who never cries is her. His funeral is hardest on mother. She is volatile, snippy and curt, haired by the whole ordeal. But at least she's talking. She sits stiffly in the corner with the mortician who is reminiscent of count Dracula mixed with Mr. Rodgers. There are white lilies everywhere, even though dad fancied petunias, and another thing that is wrong or at least Angel thinks so, is the fact that father didn't want a funeral. He'd always say that when it came to death, he never liked the thought of being buried in the ground simply to be forgotten by the very same people who attended those types of gatherings, rather he preferred cremation. "Turn me into a tree or somethin’ useful," he would snort, dismissive. Teddy sits in the corner and weeps in a shoulder shaking way and their grandpa whom they've never met tries his hand at comfort. It's Angel who takes the reigns, walking around the congregation, talking to the people, offering to fetch them things, generally hosting. No one comments though, because they're too busy being sorry. She immediately becomes the temporary powerhouse as their mom tries to get it back together. Angel does not cry when she returns to school, on Monday because he died on a Saturday to friends she didn't even know she had, and then disappear later. Her eyes remain bone dry, and staring forward, fairly empty. Their mother goes back to work with a bottle of prozac in her purse, grim determination setting her teeth on edge. (The children. She has to remember the children at all costs. The children are why you're alive. She thinks this to herself constantly; but the kids can't know). People come by initially, bring food and comfort, until everyone deems them Over It and continue with their daily lives. (They're not really over it. But Teddy starts smiling again and mom takes up baking). They move houses. Angel doesn't cry when she packs her father's things for her mother without her knowledge so she wouldn't have to do it (but she knows she did it, and feels the need to hug her, but she doesn't because parents make mistakes too). This house is smaller, and Angel is shoved into a room the size of a large closet in the attic. Angel only cries alone at night, deep, drawn out, shuddering sighs, that she takes a short, cold shower after because they have to learn to conserve. This is hard. But probably the least difficult. Angel wanders mindlessly, listlessly without the aid of television (upon her own insistence), around the backyard, drawing circles in the dirt and climbing as high as she can into a tree that isn't even that tall (they scratch her knees and give her splinters in her palms). She avoids Teddy, after their mom comes back from the edge. Never before had she ever noticed the painful similarities between their father and him. His smile is practically exactly the same. From the profile he's got the same silhouette. Angel’s mother avoids looking at her at all possible, and she knows its for the same reason (not that she doesn't feel god awful about it). Time passes. This is the easiest. Angel doesn't know if it heals much, though. Time time time, that's all there is. Moving, rushing past her, like she's standing just between cars on the highway. Hours to years, seconds to millennium. Nothing seems quite right, not about anything, really. Maybe time just doesn't work for her. Time works for Teddy. He shoots up, maybe it's a month or a year or two, but no more than that. He towers over everything, all awkward angles and new pimples on the side of his face. He likes to wear blues and grays. Generally, there is a cross around his neck, but his is made out of silver and tucked in, against his heart. If Angel didn't know better, she would swear he carries a bible around with him. As such, he can quote John and Samuel and Abraham like they were his own. He's also like. Brilliant. He took a test and everything. Mother appreciates it, Angel despises it. It widens the chasm between them. He makes lots of friends in youth group and track. To show her displeasure, Angel makes a friend of her own. His name is Brad, from Bio. He says it’s a rather unfortunate name, mostly because he feels generic. But then she reminds him her name is Angel and he looks at her a little sympathetically. He likes to smile, and he doesn't have braces but he needs them. Dissecting frogs made him vomit, and he can't stand blood. But he wants to be a doctor. He becomes her friend after like fifteen minutes. She doesn't even know how that happened. His hands are really cold, all the time, and he tells her he's a vampire. "Like Dracula?" She asks, as they sit in his living room. They're doing a project together, and by project, I mean they're just playing poor people's pictionary. Angel sits on the carpet, casually leaning on the armrest while Brad controls the couch. "More like Nosferatu." He admits, and his hair curls in an enticing way that Angel hadn't noticed before. Their friendship is like a pubescent flower. Also smells like one. "You've got at least half his charisma." She admits and he hold up his drawing. "It's a bus." She says finally, and he snorts, "Club sandwich," he replies, and she gives him a look. "Your drawing sucks." He glares at her and she smiles, "So does yours," he protest, and she responds by blowing him a kiss. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ More for my own sake than anything. Also. It's a RoyQin whatever I don't have the symbol on my phone. Bluh bluh boring angsty teenagers who won't be doing the do anytime soon, sorry not sorry charcter development.
I love this asdfghjkl you're actually updating I can't handle this omg that's so depressing the feels akisieowkiwanske
3. Opposing ends ** Teddy isn’t really sure how to react when Angel starts bringing Brad over. He is just a friend, she assures him, but in any case all kinds of brotherly protectiveness seize him. After all, he is the man of the house and as such, he has to protect her like his father. His mouth twists at the thought, as he mulls over this in class. His divine father, after all, is looking down on him with contempt. Not yet worthy, he seems to say with his ageless face and disapproving eyes. Yet, Teddy would eventually become that, he would become everything his father was, maybe even tenfold. He would prove himself more worthy in the eyes of the only one who really mattered, who he was doing this for. Late at night he prays, intensely and vehemently, agonizing in his sinful thoughts, mindful to be quiet. He would make them believe in him like he did they. He is completely unaware of a bubblegum chewing demon with evangelical blue eyes, with plans. Plans that include him and his naïve innocence. ** Angel once envisioned herself getting married like her mother told her she would, but instead of white she’s dressed in black and he’s the one in white. The big ornate church doors open and she walks forward alone because she doesn’t have anyone to give her away and there he is, waiting for her, at the end of the altar, in his white suit; smiling. She is confident, and watches the flush on his cheeks rise. He looks just like he did the last time she saw him, slightly stubbly and alive. “Daddy.” she’d whisper, and then she couldn’t go on, biting the inside of her wrist in order to bring herself back to reality. She decides never to think of marriage ever again. Brad from Bio introduces her to Sandra from Theater and Summer from English. Jenny from P.E comes along later. They become her friends, not because they feel bad, but because they like her in a genuine sense. They share her humor, and understand her logic. She thinks this is probably her favorite year. Things are, for the lack of a better term, good. Nothing is falling from the sky, no one is dying, and she feels like her feet are on the ground for the first time in a long, long while. Brad and Angel have best friend dates; to get her out of the house and spend the money burning holes in his pockets. Sometimes other people come with them. Sometimes, (usually), it's just the two of them. Today they planned on pizza and hell raising. But instead, he shows up at the door with duck covered pajama bottoms and a loose t-shirt with a pug on it (notorious among Derek from Math and Gabe from Art). "Thought we were going out?" "Change of plans; my parents went out for the weekend. They left the liquor cabinet unlocked." He gives her a wicked grin and she steps in the threshold, toeing off her sneakers. ** Her name starts with an A. Teddy doesn’t really see the relation though. Ashley is smart, though he wouldn't say very studious. He became her friend after his father died, but then she wasn’t because of the middle school blues. All of a sudden she pops back into his life, as vibrant as ever, and she fills a hole inside him he wasn't even really aware of. He lies on the couch to start reading a book Angel recommended him a year ago. **