As I perched upon my cushion, my mind raced, a million questions and a billion actions swarm in my brain. One second was enough for my brain to be filled with limitless thoughts and almost no space for anything else. What would it be like if I died? I question myself. Would anyone really be there if I died? Can someone please tell me that they are there and be there?! Why...why is nobody caring?! I'm ugly....that's why... I'm fat...that's why... I'm dumb... A loser... Nobody... I should just kill myself...nobody cares... A searing pain rips across the thoughts and slams me back into reality, like being smacked with a hammer. The pain lingers in my head, screaming for me to stop thinking, and just do it, jump! I stand up, place a leg over the balcony fence, and just as I lift my other leg up, I am embraced by a hug. "Baby please...don't leave me here alone," the voice was shaky, as if worried. "I'm sorry mom...." I muttered as I hug her back and burst into tears. "I love you, and I don't know what I would do if you died...." my mother coerced my body back from the urge to jump. I let her help me back inside and to the bed. We both sat there and talked; my mother was an amazing counsellor, and she was great at talking with me without using her counselling voice. I told her all about my problems, and she listened, offering me some advice on how to handle the problems. She was amazing when she wanted to be. She was the reason why I didn't want to die yet.