Undead. Book one: Zoe

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by *Orisel (01), Aug 13, 2012.

  1. This is going to be a book collection
    ------------------------------------------
    Zoe was a sweet girl. Black, long hair, brown eyes, red lips. She lived in a normal house, in a normal street. One thing happened to her which would make life never the same again. Her street was basically abandoned, which meant nobody to play with. Her only friend called Harris had been killed. Her family was poor so they had no car or even bike. So she didn't go to school. She had been tutored at home instead. One day she was outside and a random garbage truck ran her over. CRACK!!! she had heard her bones get ran over. She could barely talk until he came. He ran up to her and made things worse by scratching Zoe. She screamed as loud as she could. Immediately, Zoe fell down the sewer hole and landed onto a pole. CLICK!!!, CRACK!!!, SNAP!!! went her bones. She had watched herself die. When she say up, hairs had grew all over her body and her bite mark had gone. "Ughh" she moaned as he appeared Infront of her. "Jake?..." she said to the... Zombie.
    -_______________
    Quite a long update
    But I need help.
    Anyone wanna
    Help me out?
     
  2. ,_, no offense, that's not a really long update, and what do you need help with exactly?

    Except you need to go by paragraph.
     
  3. Gawd. Here's my list:

    19:34: Gets bored and writes a story
    19:50: Gets bad feedback
     
  4. ~.~ No need to be nasty. I was giving my honest opinion. Well sir, you have lost a reader.

    Good day.
     
  5. Thanks bye 
     
  6. I like it jakey 
     
  7. I need more people to help write the story
     
  8. -.- Don't be mean to Sky. She was trying to help.

    You just lost two readers.
     
  9. :L. All I said was that I got bad feedback. Truth hurts:L
     
  10. ._. It doesn't hurt. It was just pathetic.
    Plus, it wasn't true. Someone was just trying to help. You put this on yourself.

    Don't lie.
     
  11. She just asked you what you needed help with -.-
     
  12. Let's just let this die. I admit I'm a rubbish writer and I don't deserve to waste fan fiction. I'll just leave this like all of my other stories. Hope you 2 are happy?
     
  13. Jesus. I want you to be a better writer. But not if you quit writing just because of some criticism.
     
  14. No jake don't listen keep writing its good I like it 
     
  15. It's fine. I'm not in the best mood anyway. And no you don't want me to become a better writer, you just want to criticise everything I write. Everything I write fails. EVERYTHING IM A RUBBISH WRITER
     
  16. So just leave my thread alone and let it die
     
  17. Hayley I'll write another story
     
  18. ~.~ You are not a rubbish writer, you just need the criticism, and without that, you can't.