Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house everyone felt shitty even the mouse. Dad at the whore house, Mom smoking grass and I settled down for a nice piece of ass. Then out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my piece to see what was the matter. He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew right away that fat fucker fell. He filled all the stockings with pretzels and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer. He rose up the chimney with one hell of a fart, that son of a bitch blew my chimney apart. He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight, piss on ya all and have one hell of a night..... Money is tight, Times are hard, Here's your fucking Christmas card!!!