THE PAST; I sat before the bookshelf, pulling heaps of books onto the floor in front of me. Shuffling through the small pile, I sorted them. My mother had asked me to organize the bookshelf in the hallway. It was a Sunday thing to do, on a Sunday kind of day. But, today was Saturday. I mentioned this to my mother, but she smiled at me, a sad, yet amused sort of smile, one meant for a child, and explained that Saturday could be chore day if we were to attend church tomorrow. I shrugged and seated myself in front of the bookshelf. I suppose I was young then, barely at the age of 7. However though, if you were daring enough to call me so, I would not cease to launch into a long and tiring argument. "I'm old enough to have my own room, instead of sharing with Carmen!" I would say. "Carmen." I said. My mother flinched at the mention of my twin sister. "Where is she?" I had asked'looking up at her, my big brown eyes innocent. Mother paused, staring at the basket of laundry she was folding. "She...went away, Leslie." I thought this over, fiddling with my Teddy bear. I knew this was a sensitive subject for my mother, but I hadn't seen Carmen in weeks, and no one had spoken of her since that night...
THEN; I lay in my bed, plush pillows and soft blankets surrounding me. The family dog, Yarn, lay beside me, his warmth a dull comfort. Tense energy hovered above me, a fog of uncertainty and question. Something was wrong. I removed the heavy quilt, and swung my short legs over my twin sized bed. Yarn looked up in question as I walked out my bedroom door. I wandered downstairs, against my parents' orders. My mother and father stood at the front door. I caught a few words of their quiet conversation before I was noticed. "She never came home from school" my mother sobbed quietly. "Leslie never saw her on the bus" The policeman did his best to awkwardly comfort my mother. "Do you remember what she was wearing?" my mother considered this. "A- a blue shirt and jeans" my mother said, unsure. "Why does that matter?! My baby's gone!" her desperate cries echoed through the large house. I sat on the bottom stair, watching. My father turned, as if sensing me, and nudged my mother. She turned, and my eyes widened. They both looked terrible. My mothers eyes were red and tear stained, and they both looked terrified. "Mommy?" I whispered, startled by their shaken appearances. "Where's Carmen?" My mother dissolved in tears, and my father turned away from me for a moment, before walking over to me and picking me up. "She'll be back" he murmured to me. "It's time for bed." Back To The Past; I placed the last books on the shelf, the finishing touches, and then wandered the house, searching for my mother. I found her in the kitchen, placing three plates on the dining table. "I finished the bookshelf" I told her. She smiled, looking up. Her eyes were puffy and faintly red. "Thankyou, honey." I stood there, watching her. "What's wrong, mommy?" I asked, fiddling with my hands. "Nothing." She whispered, looking down. "Please go tell your father it's time for lunch" They never spoke of Carmen. It was like she had never existed, except for the times when I caught either of them grieving. No one cared to explain to me where my sister had gone.
Still in the past; I woke with a start, jerking up hastily, and staring into the darkness around me. Breathing heavily, I got out of bed and walked to my parents' room. I nudged them softly. "I had a nightmare" I whispered. My mother turned to look at me, sleepily. Her eyes widened. "Carmen?!" She sat up with a start, and I stumbled backwards. "No...Leslie" I said, softly. It had been months since Carmen had been mentioned. My mother laid back down, tears leaking down her face, and turned away from me. I returned to my own room, hiding the tears of distress. I couldn't help but feel as if my mother had abandoned me in her grief for my identical twin.