Okay so this is my first time ever doing something not supernatural related so here it goes lol ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Aliza floated through the hallways trying to see if anyone would notice her. They never did though the students just saw the outside, a slender girl who had dark burgundy hair and pale skin. Boys would ask her out now and then but always just to say, " I got with the mystery chick." That's what she was, no one knew her parents and no one had ever been to her house. She thought that if someone wanted to be her friend that they would try to see past the outside and see in. No one did, she was there always just passing through their lives unseen. Not unpopular but not the focus of everyones attention, untill she met him. She had never seen this teacher at the school before. But there he was laughing with her math teacher like the two were best friends. I walked closer and caught some of their conversation " yeah this is a good class, but you have Aliza in your class so the boys might not be all that focused if you know what I mean." He gave a laugh and the new teacher smilies. " she one of those popular girls that have the boys wrapped around her finger?" Mr.mill shook his head," No Daniele it's like she doesn't even notice and she never has anyone over, and no one has met her parents! It's like she is in her own world and everyone wants to be apart of it." Her own world huh? Aliza liked that, she didn't want to have people know things about her so easily like any other girl. She would live her life in mystery and hope that someone could come and solve it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Now this is the only time we see in Aliza's head because this story isn't about her discoveries it's about, Daniel's
I saw the flash of dark hair that looked like a dark brown, bit then a glint of sunlight caught it giving it a red, purple tint. I wondered if the girl had been born with it or if it had been dyed. I shook my head not okay to be wondering about a students hair on the first day. Right out of college the other teachers were sure to have their doubts about me, but nick had gotten me the job and I loved it. I loved to teach and explain things to people. Nick was only a year ahead of me so he was also pretty young for a high school teacher. I was standing talking to nick when he started off about the class. Something about how the boys wouldn't be that focused. I assumed it was a cute popular girl, who wore skirts to short and hair that was blonde. But again I was surprised this Aliza sounded like a loner who tried to keep people away from them. I was excited to meet this girl and see why the boys might fancy her more than the beach live ins I had seen on the front steps. " Mr.mill here's the homework." The voicestartled me, it was light and deep at the same time, a voice that sounded held back with its power that it could project. " yes Aliza will you please meet Mr.Adams. He is the new math teacher while I go teach freshmen, I hope you can showhim the ropes." she smilied at me and walked in side not agreeing to do anything. I watched her go and saw that several boys were doing the same thing. " see Danniele I told you, that girl is just as mysterious as what they put in the food at this school." nick made a face crinkling his blonde hair and green eyes. " I see now, she's an interesting girl.I wonder why she is like she is?" Nick shrugged, " the world may never know. If the gossip girls couldn't get it out of her no one can." He laughed and so did I, it was contagious and I saw Aliza in the classroom silently laughing to herself too. What I wouldn't give to know why she was laughing and how to make it happen again. I caught myself just intime from going over and trying just that. You're the teacher she's the student and that's all you are to her and her to you. Besides a women as beautiful as that must have a boyfriend I thought bitterly, I could be more of a man than any of these children. I shook my head again, this girl was going to get me in the best kind of trouble, I could tell. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tell me what you think I'm kind of getting into this forbidden romance stuff lol
Remember to capitalize the first word in each sentence, including dialogue. And use LOTS of details. Otherwise, I like it!!
Okay I'm updating this story cuz I had a great idea and I want to see if it makes the story better. Tell me if it sucks or doesn't suck ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I stood teaching the class watching the boys glance at Aliza, it made me mad that she had other people looking at her. I wanted to rip out all their eyes and force them to forget about her. I didn't understand why I was being so jealous, when there was a lot of cute girls in my class like the one waving her manicured hand at me saying " Mr.adams you who, I have a question on the homework can you please come here and help me." She batted her eyelashes and flipped her blonde hair smiling a flirtatious grin. I came over stood at her dek " Yes Ms. Summers? What is confusing you on the home work?" She smiled sweetly and said in a voice so low only I could hear " Why you aren't flirting with me." She gave me a wink and in a louder voice " oh question 9 it's so hard mr. Adams." I looked at Aliza just because I wanted to see her eacation to this Melissa's flirting, what I saw put me on cloud 9 she was trying her best not to glare clenching her fists to keep calm. When she saw me looking she unclenched her hands and looked at her homework solving a problem like nothing had ever happened. I smiled and walked back to my desk only to hear a shrill voice call after me. " Mr. Adams! I need help on this problem." I looked and saw a boy trying to talk to Aliza and this made me mad. " Mr. Stewart can help you. Go help ms. Summers Richard okay." He looked disappointed at having to move away from Aliza. That worried me, I didn't want this boy getting to close to her. I sat at my desk while the class worked on their homework finally when the bell rung it was just me and Aliza . " hurry or you'll be late to class." I didn't want her to hurry I wanted her to stay and tell me all about her self and then laughing that beatful laugh of hers. " I needed to ask you something mr. Adams. I wanted to let you know that Melissa is brilliant she could have easily worked out number nine on her own." Was she trying to get me away from Melissa? I nearly jumped at the thought that my Aliza was jealous for me. Wait 'my' Aliza, when did that happen? " Thank you for letting me know. Would you like to help me again, I'm thinking of having an assistant to help grade papers, after school. If your interested that is, I would love to have someone on my side." I winked at her not knowing why but it got a hint of a blush out of her. That made me smilie more. " sure but I take the bus home and my parents can't come get me after school." " Well if your parents sign this," I say handing her a transport slip," I can take you home and not get sued." I laugh hoping she laugh to, she does it's soft but still lovely like tinkling bells that are deep in their notes. " We wouldn't want that." As she takes the slip from me her finger brush mine, when I'm done savoring the contact I blink and she's gone. I've never been so happy for the use of homework in my life. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This is when I introduce a way for them to grow closer and two possible problems to the story. tell me if I went over board with the writing or you think I didn't do enough.
So I was thinking of making it two of their pov's but when it's Aliza's pov it's in the 3rd person what do y'all think?
Be careful with how many times you switch povs. As well as the amount of time you spend on each section. One of my pet peeves is seeing a story where someone barely updates one pov and spends much time on the other, or hardly updates both because the update looks long enough with both povs put together. Also make sure that you don't repeat yourself in different povs. That's just silly.
Thx ! I luv it when ppl give me advice makes me feel like they care about my work enough to try and make it better So what I'm getting is if I do make it two pov's to make them even or only do one. Tell me if I got it wrong
Aliza P.O.V ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ She walked down the hall holding the paper tightly to her chest. She stopped at her locker and smiled to her self, he had given her the perfect excuse to see him more often. Then she remembered the reason why, Melissa. The perfect girl that had the guys trailing after her, of corse everyone knew everything about her. Her parents were rich, her brother a total senior hottie and even older brother a doctor. Hunter and Marcus she thought their names were. Suddenly a hand came to rest right by her locker supporting a young boy with sandy brown hair and gray green eyes that looked at her with a sexy sneaky look. " I hear your the mystery girl. Am I right?" Aliza looked down at his other hand that was touching her fore arm. She shrugged it off and looked at his eyes making hers seem far and cold. " Yeah. That's me what do you want?" He smiled and looked at the paper slip in her hand. " Nothing, I'm new here names Kyle. I'm on the football team, they talk about you a lot, how your super hot and smart. Also how no one knows a thing about you." I find that interesting a girl who can keep a secret." he winked and Aliza felt a light blush stain her pale porcelain skin. " Now that you've talked to me what are you going to say? That you talked to mysterious Aliza ? That she fell all over you, because I don't want to sound rude to the foot ball team or anything but I don't like being talked about." With that she closed her locker nearly getting Kyle's hand. " Goodbye, Kyle can't say it was nice meeting you." She walked down the halls looking ahead, not down but never catching anyone's eyes. She knew that he was watching her go, all boys did. She didn't try to put a sway in her hips but she always had a haunting melody in her head that she slightly danced to as she walked. The trees the fell around her feet The wind it sank to it's knees The sky it sang Washing her with rain The world takes all her pain Her face it never smiled For her grin was stolen as a child And now her grief Makes the trees lose their leaves The world gives her all to see The world let's her be what she craves to be It was a song her mother sang to her at night, when she went to sleep she could imagine her mother singing it to her.How she wished her mother would sing to her again. Sadly Aliza knew her mother wouldn't, her mother didn't do anything now but work and have talks with her "business" friends. There was a reason why she wouldn't let her parents come to the school or meet anyone there. Her dad was a wealthy flirt and her mom was to, both beloved an open relationship was what would solve their problems, Aliza knew better. Her parents not so much.