Once upon a time, in a kingdom far far away, a handsome prince was walking through a forest when he suddenly tripped over a dwarf. "Prince! We need your help!" the dwarf cried, tugging at his pant leg. The prince looked down and thought to himself, 'Oh great! Not another disgusting little dwarf! I thought they were all killed off in the flood, but they just keep on coming back like cockroaches. Hahaha, I know! I will follow the little troll thing and hunt them all down for sport!' Then the embarrassingly bashful dwarf led him to a small cottage in the middle of the woods.
Just give me your name, address, social security number and credit card information and I will send them right over
"What the hell are you dumb midgets doing? Are you trying to suffocate her?" he yelled. "She's already dead," said a dwarf wearing glasses. The prince thought to himself, 'Wow. Smaller people really do have smaller brains... Among other things.' he chuckled to himself. 'Huh, I guess I could save her... She is pretty damn fine, but I have so many more important things to do. Well, I will just give the hot chick CPR then take that sweet thing home with me.' The prince did just that. He gave the maiden CPR then they rode off together to his castle where they lived happily ever after... Well, he did anyway.