The Perfect Getaway

Hey Guys tis I! Sir Nicholas of the west!  But seriously, it's your boy Hawk here giving you... A story!  I have been in a writing mood and saw all the sappy romance stories and decided we need to change that! So without further a do, I present "The Perfect Getway!" Enjoy
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Oh god... Oh Jesus Christ.... Oh ****!
I was struggling for breath, each sharp inhale feeling like glass running down my throat and piercing my lungs. He was yelling at me... It was inaudible but I knew he was insulting me. After all I was holding the lifeless body of my brother in my arms, my hands covered in blood. He was shot by that... Man. As I kept trying to bring myself back to reality, his words hit me.

"YOUR IGNORANT LITTLE STUPID! I TOLD YOU NOT TO MOVE! YOU BEST HOPE YOUR MAMA AND PAPA LOVE YOU KID!"
His accent, he was from a tribe. He sounded screechy, he was screaming his head off. Although his screams were the only thing preventing my death. I then heard the magic words I could only dream of.

"GET OF HERE!" He furiously roared. Next thing I knew, he was grabbing my neck, using a vice like grip on my pressure points. What was I doing.
"Listen here little runt, I'm feeling generous, okay? Good, here is what I shall do for you, since your my most expensive white boy." He hissed in my ear. So that's what this is, slavery.

"You have thirty seconds to run, run Forrest run. If the jungle doesn't eat you alive..." he turned my head, his breath flowing in my nose.

"I will! Now GO!" he hollered. I reacted as best I could, I let go of Brody's limb body and ran as fast as my legs could take me, deeper and deeper into the jungle.
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So what do you think?  Good, bad?  Any criticism will be gratefully accepted without a "Why you being mean?"  Anywho, I proof read it like 5 times and didn't catch anything. Did you guys? I'm rambling!  Ciao My Friends 

 

That's one!  Sorry guys

 

Updating tonight 

 

I'm updating NOW!
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My legs, pudding. My heart in my feet. My brain running a mile per hour, contemplating all the things that could go wrong at that very moment. I was running, carrying myself through the thick jungle. Giant leaves whacking me in the face, like being hit with a paper fan. I tried my best to shove them out of the way before they could get a hold of me.

I could hear the man, booming into a megaphone.

"BETTER RUN FASTER! READY OR NOT HERE I COME LITTLE CHICKEN!"

That couldn't be right! He said thirty seconds! The jungle getting thicker, my brain making everything more difficult. Could he shoot me from this distance? I wouldn't know, I never fired a gun before. Never killed anything...

I could hear bushes rustling, was that his men? Here to kill me? No, just a deer. Yet he too was apparently, out to kill me. The deer's head hit me like a truck, knocking me into the rough bark of the tree behind me. I climbed to my feet, I couldn't breathe. The wind just knocked right out my lungs.

A tiny cave appeared before me, just enough to crouch under it. I got down, resting my backside on my ankles. Dragging myself slowly through the cave. It wasn't very long, I got to the end and just stood, is was very natural. That's when it happened.

He dropped down off a ledge above the cave, holding his knife above my heart. He screamed "ALERT!" and went for me. I threw my hands out, grabbing his wrist. He was leaning on me, trying so furiously to paint his knife crimson with my blood. We were stuck in a fight. Time slowed, my life was based on this struggle. This single shoving match was going to change my life.
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Sorry about it being later released than I wanted it to be. I was in the middle of typing when WHAM! I hit cancel. I literally felt like punching a brick wall. I had to step away from a bit because I was just pissed! Anywho, here it is so enjoy it ladies and gents 

 

Thanks for the support guys Updating tonight after I get back from doctors. (I have pink eye so I look like qoziemoto . Is that his name?  The guy from "Hunchback of Notre Dame" I don't know )