I can see things that other people cannot. I hear things and it clogs my mind from time to time. I don't mean this as a deep metaphor, it's the literal truth. People thought of me as a crazy girl, a psycho. But a trip to a spiralling black void sent me to a place where being me is nothing but special. I was sent to Peculiar De School. A school where souls are being eaten. A school, as peculiar as it sounds, made the normal life a big horrifying illusion. Deep within our normal life is an invisible world mingling beneath us. A scary sight that a normal person would have created in his mind but refuse to believe it exist. We create our own monster, a monster that would soon consume your being. It is horrid, we truly die on the hands of a terrifying creature. A creature that could bend the minds of the people, creating accidents. There are, however, people that refused to believe the bending. These people can never escape the dark future that awaits them. They would see the true face of the world. The monster in a child's drawing lurking in an alley way munching on a rat, the horrible creatures made to scare teenagers watching below us. The nightmares of real life. These leads to the crazy ones. Have you ever wonder why there are people who seem to have lost their minds? No, it isn't about their pasts. It is what they saw, what they heard and what they discovered. For me, they're peculiars. Both monsters and people who can see them. I'm Avory Dawson and I can see your monster waiting for your lights to turn off. I learned these things the hard way.
When I was eight, I was sent home by my teacher. I never really knew why she did. She called my mum from work, sheer terror etched on her usual cheerful face. For a little kid, it's amazing how I can remember the details of that particular day. I was on the bus that early morning, my stringy platinum blonde hair was in two tight braids. I was wearing a red dress under my brother's cloak. It was a normal day, really. Girls talking to their friends, boys throwing paper planes at each other. Sitting in front of the bus, I could see the streets before us. The cars were passing by in different directions, newspaper boys riding their bikes and people jogging in packs. Nothing was odd, it was a perfect sunny day until I noticed black clouds circling above a blue house. I whirled around, looking at the girl beside me. "Ally?" I timidly asked, fiddling the lace of my dress. She gave me a toothy grin, "Yes Avowee?" "Can you see that blue house?" I pointed at the window and she shoved my hand away, her eyes searching the street side. "It's a wonderful house Avowee, why? Is that your house?" "Look at the clouds, Ally. They seem so black and mean," I shivered, frowning at the sight in front of me. "That ain't black silly, clouds are white. They're all puffy and white," she giggled and jumped down her seat. "Avowee thinks clouds are white," she skipped towards the driver who merely gave her a nod. The bus driver can't see it too. I know by the way he look intently on the red light. The other kids in my row staring boredly outside. I can't really explain it, but I know it was not right. Everything seem to be in slow motion. A woman opened the door, her mouth opened as if she's screaming. I stood up on my seat, leaning forward on the window. She's clutching something in her hands, from a distance, it was unrecognizable. She was running, her hair flying around her face. I kept on pounding on the window, urging her to run faster. My young mind formulating that she must have been running from someone. I screamed at the bus driver, telling him about the woman. He whirled around as his eyes widened and he immediately locked the door. The other children crowded on the left part of the bus. I remembered hearing the bus driver calling 911 and reporting a madman with a gun chasing a woman. I didn't see anything for a good 10 seconds. Then I saw it. From the opened door, a swirl of smoke blasted from the inside. It wasn't like the smoke when you burned something or a fog. It was something more, something different. Something was crawling out of the dark hallway of the house.
This is wonderful. I love the plot, the description, the word choice, the rhythm… the only advice I would give is that I spotted a few grammatical errors. But not many. Definitely looking forward to more.
A pale white girl wearing a red silk dress emerged and she was literally crawling. Her face was caked with uneven make-up, blood running from her mouth. Her hair was floating around her, it was long and if you focused enough, it shifts colour from black to gray and white. Her eyes landed on me as she stopped momentarily at the lawn. My hands were shaking and I remember tumbling down my seat. She was smiling at me and then I lost it. I started crying and screaming, I backed away from the window. The driver was standing with his phone, still talking to the operator. I remembered somenone pulling me outside, a force I cannot explain. I kept on resisting, my hand gripping the seat of the bus. No one heard me screaming, no one saw me got pulled out of the door. I fell with a big thud out of the bus, the blue house in front of me. The woman stopped when she saw me, she screamed something but it was blocked by my own terrified shrieks. The crawling girl stood up, her tongue lashed out of her mouth. She shot it on the woman's heart. The woman gasped as I tried so hard to stand up. I clawed at the ground, totally helpless. I just wanted to just run away but I can't. The blood was soaking her floral shirt, a hole on her chest was visible. The crawling creep crawled her way on the woman's body, eating her flesh while eyeing me down. The girl was even horrid up close. The smell of lemon hung in the air, blood was all over her pale body. I closed my eyes, trying to block out everything. My hands were cold, as I was gripping my dress. Then everything went quiet, when I opened my eyes. The pale girl's face was inches away from me. Then I blacked out. When I opened my eyes, I was seated on Ms. Eula's class. She was telling a story about Little Red Riding Hood. But I can't hear her properly. There was a low mumbling even though no one is talking. It was overwhelming, I felt someone talking to me but there wasn't. I stood up, Ms. Eula stopped talking and smiled at me. She asked me what's wrong, I didn't know I was crying. Then someone pulled on my skirt, it was the pale girl.
OHMYGOD. Still love this. There's just the grammar, a little bit of repetition (a bunch of sentences in a row started with 'I') and a tense switch. This is getting so awesome though!
FF is about to get another mind boggling story! But please, please continue it and update regularly! Please? I really love the way you have described the whole scene. Keep going
I screamed so loud that my throat felt like it was burning. I started clawing her face. It was my sudden instinct. Everything moved so slow, the voices that screamed behind me were shallow and deep as if we were underwater. Everyones' movements were slow, like they were submerged on syrup. My classmates ran away from me, Ms. Eula stared at me in horror but I kept attacking the girl anyway. I know I should stop, my hands were shaking. I stopped on my tracks when I heard a whimper below me. Looking around, the kids were literally hiding under the tables; their faces were filled with tears and snot. "Avowee," someone sniffed and I lost my balance, falling to the floor with disgrace. "A-Ally?" I croaked out, my eyes were wide with sheer terror. As I clamped my hands on my mouth, the overwhelming scent of blood made me stagger. Ally's face was wounded, her face filled with scary scratches; the bloud dripping from her chin. Her once porcelain skin now a picture of tragedy. "I- I'm sorry, Ally," I made a move to scoot over her trembling figure. She was rocking back and forth, her sobs echoing around the room. She moved away from me and ran behind Ms. Eula's stiffened form. I remembered seeing the pale girl's face behind Ms. Eula, she was grinning and when I blinked, she was gone. Feeling suddenly sick, I hunched down the floor and blackness engulfed me once more. I woke up alone in Ms. Eula's room, she was talking with my mum on the phone, I know by the way she said "Mrs. Dawson," with worry. Horror was painted in her once cheerful face. "It's better if you go over here," I heard her whisper. Noticing my nails wer caked with blood, the previous moments flooded through me. There was a metallic taste in my mouth. Ally. I tried to talk but nothing came out. My teacher, seeing me opening my mouth backed away on the board and sat on her chair. Far away from me. Then there was the low buzzing of voice again. This time, it was only my teacher's voice. She's scared of me. She called me crazy. She called me mental. She called me peculiar.
I woke up with a start, the usual annoying tone of my alarm clock was replaced by a shrill scream from a far. Faint but loud enough to wake me up. This is normal, for me that is. Glancing on the clock that reads 3:27 AM, I groaned and immediately, my heart started hammering from my chest. No, not again. This is the time they're usually active. They doesn't come in packs and try to rip me into shreds, every time it's different. Different monster for a particularly peculiar hour. No. They don't try and eat my flesh or something, that's my monster's job and I'm thankful it haven't found me. Yet. I figured it out one morning when the news about a young sophomore from our school killed herself. They found a drawing of a centaur-like creature in her hands, blood tainting the horrible detailed picture. There were words written beside her and it said, "It found me." This bugs me a lot, how did she knew her monster. I had this little hope that maybe, she used to be like me. Anyway, nobody has hurt me physically. They visit me during this hour and they sure do like to leave a mark in my emotional being. I don't wake up every 3:00 AM so they wanted it to be memorable. The first time someone visited me, I was laying on my bed fiddling the comforter up on my head. The constant roar of car engines passing by helped me think that I wasn't alone. Then I felt something cold entering from my bathroom. It was sudden and if I wasn't paying attention, I would've missed it. Then everything went silent. The ticking of the clock stopped, the cars passing by were gone. I was laying still the whole time, afraid of making a sudden move. Every second feels like an hour. This is a different silence, it's the silence that could mean anything. The silence was killing me, but I can't move. I felt someone watching me and from the corner of my eye I saw a movement. The only choice I had was to close my eyes and try to sleep. Then it got worse, my mind started playing every scary movie I watched mixing in the monsters eating their own person. The ones I witnessed. When I opened my eyes, there was a black raven perched on my feet. The raven was small with sleek black body, it was perfectly normal but when it opened it's beak, it had fangs and the sounds that lulled me to sleep came out. The ticking of the clock, the car engines, the dog's barking and people buzzing. When it flew away, it became a lady with long flowing gown and an eye for a head. I know it sounds crazy but it happened and it kills me to not have someone to confide it with.
Superb!! Grammatical mistakes here and there , otherwise this one was even better! You balance the gruesome-ness pretty well
Tonight must be the night that they pitied me, nothing was odd but the light switched on in my bathroom. The light is seeping in my dark room from the small gap between the door and the floor. I sighed, covering my head with a pillow. "Avory," a small voice muttered. "She's not Avory," a high pitched voice replied. I opened my eyes and noticed moving figures blocking the bathroom light. "I know she's not Avory, I can feel it," he continued, I can hear him pacing back and forth. "She's A-Avory. Im sure Val," Remus, I supposed said and the steps stopped. I sat up and tilted my head. My hands is stone-cold, my feet trembling under my duvet. "Should we kill her then?" Val asked. I gasped, could they be my monsters? Could this be the time that I will die? "N-no. Dumon will g-get mad. W-we do-don't want th-that." I almost let out a shriek of delight, but I can't move. My hands and feet feels like they are binded by something. "She's not Avory then. She's living with two mortals that she calls mum and dad, she's not her." "Sh-she's like the o-others Val! She's like th-the kids on that sc-school." What? What school? "She's a monster." I stared dumbly on the door, my voice suddenly not working. How can I be a monster? "She's a mo-monster." I gritted my jaw and used all my will to barge in the door. And I did. Nobody was there when I opened the door. "She'll devour Terry Clifford anytime soon now." I whirled around, the light was out and there was a huge drop of the temperature. Who the fuck is Terry Clifford? How can I be a monster? "She knows now, does she?" There was a thundering chuckle. "She knows. She ju-just thinks she's a pe-person." I fell to my knees, distant laughters filling my head. "Lies," I whispered and dragged my body out of the cold bathroom. Lies, they're all lies.
Last Update for now I tied my hair in a neat bun on top of my head. Walking towards my locker, I typed in my combination and started rummaging for my books. The low chatter of thoughts invading my mind. This was another perk of being me, I could hear people's thoughts. At first I was overwhelmed, almost to the point of driving me insane (not a first but it scared me to death). It took ages for me to adjust, to make their thoughts a distant buzz on the back of my mind. It wasn't easy seeing that there are a lot of people around me thinking of a million things that could have driven me mad. I could hear from a distant if I focus enough. You must think that it's pretty cool right? I could use this perk to cheat on tests or think if a guy likes me? No. You see, based on my experiences, teachers don't shout the answers on their minds. It's either they were just repeating the question on their heads or maybe just calling the students a disgrace to the youth. Imagine hearing things you don't really want to know. A boy thinking of dirty things about his friend or the teacher; the principal saying that we teens are nothing but rabid animals; teachers cussing at a classmate who is a slow-learner and people saying negative things about you despite of being nice in your face. Scratch that, I'm an outcast. I'm that girl who everyone likes to trase and trip just because they can. But these doesn't anger me, deep within me I know that I deserve this. I think with this treatment, it lessens the guilt that built inside me when I scratched Ally's face. I'm that kind of person who parents wouldn't want their children to befriend or associate with. I know I wouldn't want my children to be near a crazy bitch who claws the face of the nearest person beside her. But no, I'm not completely friendless. Through the years of torment, some people found me and decided to take me along. By some people, I mean three cool people that aren't afraid of my constant hyperventilations and episodes.