The Outcaster

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by *Stud_Wiz_Khalifa (01), Oct 10, 2012.

  1. Ill try to update and tell me if I made any mistakes
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    Jacob

    I'm Jacob,17 years old I'm called "emo-boy and The Outcaster" I say as I walk into the dull school with the horrible stench of the bathroom I cough heavily walking past the most beautiful girl named "brooke" in the school I started walking quickly away as soon the jerk named "Zane" knocks all my books out of my hand
    Brooke walks over and helps me pick up my books "are you ok?" Brooke ask everyone around us gasp
    "Umm....yeah" I say shyly I start to fall over into her
    She squeals "I'm so sorry" I say quickly Brooke helps me and herself up "it's ok don't worry about it" Brooke says politely I smile Brooke walks over to her friends saying "he's polite,cute,and understandable" she gossips.
     
  2. Periods! The sentences must end at some point. But love it!
     
  3. Hmm how did'Ten Seconds Left' start this? Haha
     
  4. I like it, but don't forget punctuation! And bump!
     
  5. Just famous I guess!
     
  6. No I haven't made a story I liked yours and I made one
     
  7. Haha LOVE the story, except a little punctuation and its going to fast, so much drama haha but other then that.... I FREAKING LOVE IT!
     
  8. I like it hehe though yea use punctuation