Ok so this is my first story and I rlly want to know wat u guys think! If ya think it's bad just try to give me some constructive criticism and I'll try to make it better. ************************* So I was just a normal teenager until one stupid dare changed me into a superhuman that my city depended on. I was just hanging out with 4 of my friends walking around the city aimlessly when my friend Ethan said " Let's go look for stuff to make an awesome bike ramp in the dump". We all said sure and went in. We found some stuff for a ramp and then another one of my friends, Spencer said "Hey Mike, I dare to eat this sandwich". The sandwich was disgusting with goo and spoiled meat on it. "Eww God no" I said disgusted. "What are you chicken?" They all laughed and made chicken noises. "Fine give it to me" I said needing redemption. I took one bite and threw up all over the place. "Are you ok Mike?" one of my closer friends John asked, laughing hysterically. "No I'm not, that was disgusting". I sounded almost mean. "What time is it?" I asked when I started recovering. "It's 11:25" Daniel said looking up from his watch. "Oh crap! I gotta go home, peace" I yelled back I said as I started sprinting home.
We need some sort of proper grammar. I would love to see your friend Spencer and feed him this dead rat i found in my garage.
Mhhm I know thts just a bit more telling u guys how he got his powers but yea I will def be more descriptive
It's good so far Sean! I'm liking the plot line, but my critisism is: •expand on ur ideas. •show don't tell. Use imagery. •widden your vocabulary. After you do that, you'll be golden. Good luck! -Kay
You guys, don't advertise my story on Sean's story. I'll update later. For now though, Sean this is very good for just writing as it comes to you. Keep up the good work sweetheart. -Kay