Boy: Dad, I got expelled from school. Dad: WHAT?!?! WHY?! Boy: A kid said “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” Dad: So? Boy: So I threw a dictionary at him. Dad: That’s my boy. Pessimist: “Things just can’t get any worse!” Optimist: “Nah, of course they can!” Wikipedia: “I know everything”. Google: “I have everything”. Facebook: “I know everybody”. Internet: “Without me you’re nothing”. Electricity: “Keep talking, b*tches”. A naked women robs a bank. Nobody could remember her face. Dear Alegbra, Please stop asking everyone to find your x. She’s not coming back. Why do cows wear bells? Their horns don’t work.