To live is meeting with Zeus, to swim is to feel the presence of Posiedon, to die is meeting Thanatos, to walk the underworld is meeting Hades. Death, is a way to escape. Life, is full of misery and pain. What would be better for such a soft heart? Maybe waiting to see what unfolds for someone with a soft heart will lead to something new. To make life with words, to make death with words. The choice is within you.
No, like seriously, this doesn't even qualify as prose poetry. The grammar is way off and it has no flow whatsoever. There's no theme, message or symbolism to clue what the poem is about. If there's no underlying meaning, it's still hard to get any image from it because of the lack of style and detail. Poetry is a form of writing that relies heavily on the senses and idea of creating an image (show don't tell).
This beating inside my chest....is it what is called a "heart"? What is a "heart"? If I crack open your skull will I see it? Or if I put a hole through your chest, will I hold it? Is a heart a thing for feelings? If so, why must my heart be so dark and broken?
I actually liked this. For me, you made reference to the different gods. That these gods are all connected to something else, in this world. You want to feel connected as well. You're losing hope and thinking of death, but it comes to that moment when you have to decide if you're writing poetry or a suicide letter. Only you will know when that time comes.
Time, is washed away, connections are lost, each day is a distant memory to be called upon, some memories are still lingering, some memories are fading, we have very lives that are short
Free verse should still have some sort of flow. This is lacking. It's good in someways, but it's lacking any sort of proper structure
It doesn't matter the structure, you lack the intelligence on how to support someone who has a weakened heart
Read what his poem meant to me. What I thought it meant was beautiful. Just look at what I wrote. You're clearly not a poet. He doesn't need to provide detail or a proper flow. It's a free flowing poem. His flow is choppy and uneven, just like his thoughts. Deal with it, you suck at understanding things. It's ok.