When I was in....... kindergarden? Kindergarten? Never sure tbh and too lazy to google it. ....When I was in the 0th grade, there was this girl Maria Cervantes that had a huge crush on me. I honestly did not find her pretty in the least. I remember she had really bushy eyebrows, maybe even a unibrow, she had a mole on her cheek, crooked teeth, and overall I just didnt think she was pretty, but I wasnt really into girls yet but I still talked to her and kinda hung out with her at school. However, I didn't treat her well at all. At that age I was really into fighting and wrestling, and I would use her as my training buddy. I remember I would hit her often (obviously not hard but enough for her to fall or be in a small amount of pain) and, really I bullied her. Maybe I liked her subconsciously and that was my way of showing it (you know what they say about kids being mean to their crush). But I remember specifically this one time in P.E., I dont remember what we were doing but we had a little bit of free time and I remember I told her to stand at a certain spot and not move, and she gladly complied with a big grin on her face. I then proceeded to like, slide kick her heels so she would trip/fall backwards like they did in the Street Fighter games, and she did fall back, and she started crying. The teacher saw it happen and he asked me why I did it and I didnt wanna get in trouble so I said because she had hit me first. Well we both got in trouble but she never denied it even though it was a lie. Fast forward through the year, we "graduated" and my parents took a picture of me after we got our diplomas and went back to the classroom to have string cheese and milk, and the picture showed her a couple tables behind me, staring at me with a smile on her face. Anyway we moved away to a different part of town that year and so I went to a different school. One day my dad took my brother and I to a park near our house, and we were playing tag for a good 1-1.5hrs and I noticed a girl sitting by a bench staring at us. I got away from my dad and brother since I didnt wanna be "it" and noticed she was staring at me. Few minutes later I heard her call me by name, and well it turns out she was the same Maria girl from 0th grade (but of course you already came to that conclusion). We started talking and eventually we started playing together. My dad and brother were nearby resting and chatting, and she and I were just playing around on the monkey bars, I pushed her on the swings, etc. She still had the grin on her face. Her teeth weren't crooked anymore, she disnt have a unibrow, and the small mole kinda complimented her face. That's when I noticed she was actually really pretty and I kinda started having a crush on her. Anyway we played for a couple hours, and then we started to leave. She told me to come back another day to play some more and I was really looking forward to her. I left and looked back and she had that same look and smile she had in that picture from 0th grade. Well, we never went back to that park again. It was out of our way and I couldnt go alone. Fast forward about 3 years after our last encounter, I was living in Mexico for a year and by that time, Myspace had really hit off. I added a bunch of friends that I still had contact with from Elementary school but I never found her. Around July 2006, another friend I had from 0th grade who was in the same class as Maria and I sent me a picture of an article from the local newspaper Turns out around June 25th, she went to some waterfalls park with her family, and according to what her mother said, she noticed a little girl was drowning in a small lake close to the river current that eventually leads to a larger lake, so she went in to try and save the liytle girl, not knowing how to swim herself. She managed to push the little girl enough to the point where she eventually reached the shore, however the river's current caught Maria and dragged her down and she disappeared. They recovered her body the next morning about 15 miles downriver where the river meets with the large lake. She drowned saving a stranger. I never got to tell her how sorry I was for how I treated her in Kinder and it still kills me to this day. I wanted to that one day I came across her at that one park, however I used to not be good at expressing myself and never really knew how to tell her, but I feel like she knew how I felt and she forgave me. Anyway, any stories of things you resent, or regret doing or not doing? Genuinely interested in reading things like these. Anyway that's 3/3 threads for me today so I wont create any others
Dude. Is this real? I can't remember anything from Kindergarten but damn feels bad. She's a real keeper.
Yeah. I actually just messaged that friend to see if she still had the article from the newspaper. The picture I posted is the first article that came out, the most updated one I cant find but it gives all the details like her name and what exactly happened and how they found her, and that came out a few days afterwards. I remember a lot from all my schools honestly. Maybe not specific names but memories yeah
That's such a sad story oml. Hitting me in my feels, you're really in a reminiscing mood today. Hmmmm. Again, I'm not rly one for regrets. Sometimes I think there are things I should've done or said or not done/said but then again I like the way a lot of things turned out and things would be completely different if certain things didn't happen. My ex that I mentioned in your last thread, a lot of the time I think of how much smoother literally years of my life would've been if I hadn't met her. I've written about her in forums before, nothing good because it has been a train wreck from day one with her. She's also the one who rescued my cat, though, and gave her to me and tbh, especially last year, my cat was the main reason I didn't ķms. She's a spoiled princess and not re-homeable because of her temperament and extreme attachment to me so if I couldn't care for her she'd either just die or have to be put down and I couldn't let that happen. And I've made great memories since I stopped feeling all suicidal and such so ya. No ragrets. My ex had at least one very good purpose in my life.
Things happen for a reason. I have a lot of resentments, I do think about them a lot, and I also had "what ifs" but I have no full control of what's gonna happen in the future. Some things are better left unsaid.
One time when I was in 4th or 5th grade, my class and I were at lunch and it was a lunch I didn’t like so I didn’t eat it. A kid asked for my burrito and I said no, I don’t remember why I said no. Anyways, years later, I regret saying no to him. A few months ago I found him on Facebook and messaged him apologizing for not giving him my burrito. I don’t think he read it.
Jopo this inspired me to do a big write but I feel it's too personal to share, but doing the writing helped me realize some things, and I'm gonna put them in my journal. Thanks for making this thread. [2 long ass redacted tangents that leads to 10-minute cries] Anyway... Someone recently said that make-up of life is a collection of moments with significant others, friends, family, strangers, and nature... And it really does hurt to think that we might not have enough of those moments to communicate to those people how you feel and to hear how they feel. I can't really rationalize why I'm afraid of that and that surprises me cause I usually have an explanation for everything. But at the end of the day, we will still reflect on the best moments even if there weren't too many. I'm really sorry about what happened to Maria. I'm sure she understood too. We are all such flawed humans and while our actions can be super dumb, luckily people are forgiving and can see through them.