1: Sarcasm: one of the many services i offer. 2: I bet u shower naked s***. 3: I cant take this long distance relationship anymore. Fridge, ur coming to my room. 4: When u really, really, want to slap somebody, do it. Just make sure to say "mosquito" when u do. 5: Dear milk, u make me wet, sincerely, cereal. 6: Have u hugged an idiot today? me neither, come here! 7: Teachers, y u no lie on report card? 8: Saying u understand just to make the teacher go away when u really have no idea. 9: Im in love with my bed. We're perfect for each other but my alarm clock dosent want us together. That jealous w****. 10: Sometimes i fantasize about beating the s*** out of people 11: How about a nice big cup of shut the f*** up? 12: Where the f*** r my cookies?