rap I'm working on

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by OFM-ShinyKickZ-OFM, Jul 31, 2013.

  1. Here's a rap I'm working on,
    Pls give feedback below, it's made to go with a certain beat, so the flow is a little off without it, anyways just give me feedback and constructive criticism

    Intro: the world is fucked up at times, it's cross globe problems, I just don't know why

    Verse 1:
    World problems seem un-solvable, yet evolvable, let's resolve it all, world problems here and there, kinda like truth or dare, scattered round the globe, trying to fix the problems within the dome, world hunger, falling structure, violence, no tolerance, drinking and driving, just enough money for surviving, critics criticizing, dreams broken, blood tooken, bullets flying, families crying, the continues lying, this world is unsatisfying, let's work together and stop denying, we can either work as one or none, after a while the whole world can have fun

    Chorus:
    It takes effort for accomplishment
    It's better then a supplement
    So try hard to fix corruption
    Before the guns blazing cause eruption

    Yeah,
    People jumped on the daily
    Bitches drinking to much Bailey
    Em thinking bout hailey
    All wepons of destruction
    Thousand ways of corruption
    I'm done listing
    I'm just hope people r listening
    Cause the pope is missing
    The hope of all good gone
    Let all cope with hood con
    Say bye to comic con
    Cause that shits long gone
    Gonna be gone soon
    If people don't start respecting earth like moon
    People r acting like everyone is a goon
    Corruption is no baboon
    Earth is like the sphere of doom
    Soon gonna have corrupt government
    Weed to coke, evolving the supplement
    The world is not joke, People soon to be aiding on a toke, smoking in front of there own folk, this world is evolving, the economy dissolving,

    Chorus:
    It takes effort for accomplishment
    It's better then a supplement
    So try hard to fix corruption
    Before the guns blazing cause eruption

    Corruption is unstoppable
    But yet nothings impossible
    Y does it still go on
    When it should be long gone
    Who knows, but how do we stop it?
    I don't think we can
    Cause it's like a chevy van
    Mass produced by the mills
    The victims loseing the bill
     
  2. I need feedback, comeon
     
  3. Good job shiny I'm a rapper too,so I could feel the flow of the beat.look on my wall for directions to my bat cave,I'm silenced on here,in the event u need any more feedback from someone that does music as well
     
  4. Where are you from?
     
  5. That's asking for personal information, and if I answer I'll get silenced to, so i ain't down for that