People barely read my stuff anyway. This is just a random thread where I'm going to write my feelings out. Don't think that this is an attention thread, because it's not. Well, story time. You say I'm important, you say you need me. When have those words ever been true? As much as it seems like I'm your priority, it's all lies, a facade. I'm always second, whether it's friends, family, or even relationship wise, when have I ever been first? "Oh! You're important to us! You really are!" I'm always constantly hearing that sentence and it's making me sick. I walk into school, looking at the sea of people around me. They're all the same, every single one of them. As I walk into my classroom, I get bombarded with hugs and smiles. Heh, how many of these smiles and hugs are genuine? I think to myself. As far as I'm concerned, they're all fake. The only one person I trust is graduating next year and I'm going to be stuck with all of these people. Class starts, the people around me start gossiping. The gossips makes me want to hurl. I can't believe with what I'm hearing. This is a program for kids with depression and anxiety, and you label them as weird and retarded? Heh, maybe you don't belong in this program, people. It's a small program, so gossip goes around easily. I try not to care, but everyone labels me as, "Ms. popular" because I'm civil with people and they talk to me. It's funny, really. I know so many things that go on in there that people don't know. Mainly because they view me as trustworthy and someone who won't spill out their secrets. They use me, they only come to me whenever they need someone to talk to. Whenever I need that favor, it never gets returned. People always say my family's here for me. Family? What family? As far as I'm concerned, my parents are dead and the only person who understands me is my grandma. My aunt thinks I'm just being a teen, acting out for attention. Yes, I do want attention. Is it my fault that I never got the parental love I needed? Is it my fault that people just pushed me to the side? I am very troublesome, I realize this. Having to transfer schools, wasting a year to get me into this program, which was great at first. Now, it's filled with people who take advantage of it's power. No need to remind me. Everyone says I don't open up, I shouldn't bottle up my emotions like this. Well, I have no friends or family to share this to. So I have to resort to the internet. I seriously feel closer to my pimd friends rather than my outside ones. Hilarious, isn't it? People seem to think they know me. Just a hyperactive girl who's always happy. What they don't know, is the anger and darkness that fills my heart everyday, changing me. Eh, bump if you want to read more.